Lonely
by PrimeEmily135
Summary: Starscream has always been alone. But has he really cared? And will someone be able to help him before he does something to harm himself? Rated T for some violence, Cybertronian swearing, and for character death...
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! This is not very long, I know, but I wanted to write it so enjoy! :)**

**Oh yeah, I do not own Transformers Prime! :)**

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He was never one for socializing. On the best of days he still preferred to be alone. Being surrounded by other mechs meant that he was being watched. And he _hated_ feeling spied on. So when he went rouge, he thought he wouldn't mind being alone.

_I was wrong._ Starscream thought miserably. _Again…_

It seemed to him that he was wrong a lot lately. He thought he could stay a decepticon: Wrong. He thought that maybe he could join the Autobots: Wrong again. He prayed that he wouldn't see the Autobots ever again: why'd he even bother with that one? He thought that MECH might spare him if he worked with them: No luck there. He was _sure_ he would never want to _see_ anyone _ever_…but he felt lonely now.

He ex-vented slowly, almost shakily, as he set the compacted Apex Armor in a small vault aboard the Harbinger. It had taken a long time, a _very_ long time to find his remote control to his ground-bridge and in those weeks he had thought much about his current state. And he had come to the conclusion that if he never made it back from the Antarctic, people would be glad…

He almost jumped in surprise as a voice boomed in his audio receivers, but soon recognized it as a simple conversation on an Autobot frequency.

"Arcee, Fall Back!" Optimus' voice sounded panicked. "That's An Order!"

"Save it Prime…" she mumbled in reply. "They don't see me, I'm fine…"

Starscream droned out their com chatter. It was the only time he ever heard voices but with them it was always the same. Arcee would run off. Optimus would get worried about her. She would get hurt. He would show up and rescue her. She would tell him that she had it covered and he would give her this long drawn out speech about why she needed to be more careful.

He rolled his optics when the speech came earlier than usual. "Prime, you pathetic excuse of a mech!" he complained. "Just man up and admit that you want her already!"

He sighed. If he was honest with himself he just was jealous that the two Autobots had each other to count on, to help them and be a friend. He had no one…

Walking back outside, he looked up at the darkened sky filled with stars. _Primus_… he looked in the general direction of Cybertron. _I think you would probably disregard the words of a mech such as myself: I have done much wrong against my fellow Cybertronians and you. But if you will hear me… Please let me suffer no more… I'll accept whatever fate awaits me, just let this lonely torture come to an end! I don't care if my life ends to accomplish it, just let this stop! _

Optic lubricants leaked down his cheek, but he ignored them. He was so tired of hiding how he truly felt. He was so tired of being alone. And he was sick to his spark when he thought about how no one cared about him. No one ever had…

"Please let this end…"

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**Hey, hope you liked it. Leave a review or PM, please! **

**I'm not sure if this should be a one shot or a story… I have a few ideas for how it could go but I'm not so sure… **


	2. Chapter 2

**Due to all those who requested another chapter I happily plotted out this story. I decided that it will be a small story with short chapters (emphasis on short chapters) Hope you all will enjoy :)**

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What was he worth? How much did he matter to anyone?

He was nothing… And he mattered to no one.

He shook his head, looking across the operation table at his acquired T-cog. Would it really matter if he could never fly again? Would anyone but himself be at any loss? It was merely a faster way of travel. Why would he need to travel faster? He had no where he needed to go. There was no one he needed to save…

He was not needed.

What was he worth? Why was he still alive?

He looked intently at an injection needle on the med-bay wall. Being on a decepticon ship, there were sure to be poisons and viruses around. He picked up the needle. _No one would truly miss me_. He thought to himself. But the fact that he was considering suicide scared him. Never mind if he actually got the courage to go through with it, the idea of death terrified him.

He quickly set aside the needle and left the med-bay.

He needed to clear his head.

Normally he would've gone for a nice long flight, but in his current condition that was out of the question. So he resorted to walking around the halls. The dark abandoned passage ways weren't exactly comforting, making him feel worse.

When he walked past the ominous rooms he was reminded of all the other times he had contemplated such ideas in his processor. It wasn't the first time. During a lot of the time serving under Megatron he had been tempted to offline just to save him the misery.

He sighed and finally walked outside. It was night again. Finally. He thought. The days seemed to be so much longer when he was alone. The day he had spent in the Antarctic with Optimus Prime was even faster then his slow boring days wandering around the Harbinger.

"The stars are really bright tonight." He said aloud, just to see if his voice still functioned. "A sight to see indeed, but no one to share it with." He growled at himself. "Shut up Starscream, if you talk aloud to yourself you are obviously going crazy!" he looked around, his spark skipping a beat when he realized that he was doing just that. "I'm going insane…" he almost wanted to cry. After all the time he spent on the Nemesis, his final cause of insanity was his abandoned state of mind.

"I'm going insane? Seriously, now?" he screamed and punched the wall of his ship. He cringed, cradling his hand to his chest. "OW!"

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After much wandering he finally winded up back in the med-bay. Weather he had decided he was crazy or not was still a bit hazy even to him. He felt in control of his thoughts, but that in itself scared him considering the content of his pondering.

Finally he had come to a conclusion. If he was going insane he didn't want to be alive anymore. He would end his misery before he couldn't think clearly enough to control himself. Picking up the syringe, he looked over his selection of poisons. Suddenly the earth phrase 'pick your poison' didn't seem so stupid.

Finding a liking to a glowing silver concoction, he filled the syringe with it.

He took a steadying breath and lifted the needle to his arm.

BANG!

He jumped in surprise as the ground beneath him shook. Setting the needle aside, he darted back outside…

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**dun..dun..dunnnn. Cliffie until I can finish the next chapter! Please review, I'm not used to writing like this, it's a bit of a different style for me and I need some feedback. thanks! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey! Here's chapter three! :)**

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Smoke was rising in the sky above some of the surrounding trees. He darted in that direction after only a moment of hesitation, and stumbled into the tall trees. The crackling of fire and the smell of burning fuel reached his sensors, but still instead of turning tail to flee he pressed onward.

Something exploded and there was shrill scream. He quickened his pace and then froze at the sight of burning wreckage. More specifically Cybertronian burning wreckage… Another scream reached his sensors, and he stumbled down the hill to the smoldering ship.

"Hold on!" he shouted over the sound of destruction. "Hold on, I'm going to help you!" He looked over the decently sized ship for a point of entry and finally found a section of torn away metal. "I'm coming!" Taking a calming breath, he plunged into the smoky box.

Why am I doing this! He racked his processor to find a logical reason why he didn't just leave well enough alone, like usual. When he thought about it he came to be satisfied with the fact that he was already insane. "I'm coming…" he reassured the passenger.

When he passed the control room he heard weak coughing coming from within and tried to open the door. It was jammed. He pressed up against it, but it wasn't going to budge much less open. "Listen!" he yelled through the door. "Get away from the door!" after a few seconds he braced his foot against the hot floor, and kicked the sheet of metal separating them.

Smoke billowed out as the door went down. He stepped in quickly, slipping slightly on a liquid substance. "Where are you?" he choked.

There was a harsh cough to his left.

Kneeling down, he saw a hand protruding from underneath a mass of rubble. He took the smaller hand in his own, and it grasped onto him desperately. "It's going to be okay." He assured, looking for a way to pry the large bit of debris off of the bot.

When he let go, the bot made a terrified squeak.

"I'm not leaving you." He gripped the edge of a larger computer screen and tossed it aside, slowly digging the poor bot out. He coughed when the fumes became more intense. When he finally cleared the debris he grabbed the pilot by the wrist and shoulder and hoisted the bot to its feet. She nearly collapsed, until he picked her up and carried her out of the burning ship.

Once clear of the wreckage and a safe distance away, Starscream lay her down on the grass. She gasped and screamed, clawing at the earth in pain. Her blue energon leaked from her chest and neck.

"Uh…umm…" he bit his bottom lip. He felt at a loss. He didn't have enough experience in the medical field to put her back together again. What was he going to do?

The femme grasped his arm, her optics bright with pain. "Doctor…" she rasped.

"I'm not a doctor." He tried to explain to her.

She shook her head, pointing to the insignia on her chest: Autobot. "Planet thirteen…qua-" she choked, splattering energon out her mouth. "-quadrant four…" taking a deep breath she wheezed with much strain. "Doctor: Ratchet!" She screamed and her optics went dark.

"Ratchet…" he breathed. "Ratchet!" picking her up he ran for the Harbinger. On the way, he sent out an emergency beacon on an Autobot frequency: Need Help, bring medical kit to Harbinger ASAP.

Before a minute could pass by a com was sent to him to establish contact. He allowed it to come through and the medic's voice patched through.

"What is it now Starscream? Get creamed by a giant bug again?" His voice was dripping with some emotion of irritation.

"Ratchet! I have a problem and I need you to come _now_!" he couldn't stress the syllables enough.

"I don't think we have any current reason to help you Starscream."

He cursed, laying the Autobot on the ground by the Harbinger. "Ratchet, you aft! I have a downed _Autobot_ here, pouring out energon, and I can't _fix it_! Get your danged aft over here or she is going to die!"

There was a pause, as if the medic was checking his location for any other Cybertronians. Then there was a quick reply. "I'm sending a bridge. Bring her here."

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**Sorry I had to bump up the rating a bit. I realized that this story is a little too dark for K+, dark and some other upcoming stuff that you might have already guessed. Anyways! I hope you liked this chapter. Please leave a review! I love them so much! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chap four! Hope you like. As for all the questions as to who this mystery femme is, that will be answered in this chapter! :)**

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Starscream stared at the swirling mass of green and blue. A direct path into the Autobot base… Where he was outnumbered by how many? He looked from the portal to the fire-tarnished femme. She wouldn't survive for long. But if he went through he might never make it back out.

_I must be an idiot._ He picked her up safely in his arms and walked through the ground-bridge.

Three sets of guns were immediately shoved in his face when he came out the other side, and the three mechs behind them didn't look happy. He let a cowardly whimper escape him as they closed in on him.

"Where's Arcee?" Bulkhead demanded.

He glared at the mech. "I don't know! I've been a little busy with _this_ femme for the last bit of time!"

"Cee's gone missing, and you're telling me you've got nothing to do with-"

Optimus Prime quickly cut off the wrecker. "There will be time for that later." He looked down at the wounded femme and put away his Ion cannons. "Right now we have things that we can attend to." The Autobot leader reached down to take the femme from Starscream.

The former Decepticon almost hesitated, but quickly complied. He watched as the mech took her to the medical bay and went to follow, but stopped when two pairs of blasters reminded him of their presence. He growled irritated, but remained where he was.

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Hours later it seemed no one had moved except for when Starscream had sat against the wall, feeling dizzy from his lack of energon lately. He watched intently passed Bulkhead and Bumblebee at the doctor and his progress. So far Ratchet and Optimus seemed not to pay heed to the fact that he was still there. They continued with their work as if nothing else was going on. That was, at least Ratchet.

Starscream noticed that the Autobot leader looked tense. Optimus always looked stressed, stiff, and rock hard. But he seemed to be riding a thin line between calm and utter franticness. Something was up with him and Starscream smirked, knowing full well that it must have been the disappearance of Arcee.

He watched Ratchet push Optimus away from the operation table and scold him about something. The mech turned away, with a dejected and tired look in his optics. Finally he seemed to turn his attention to the Decepticon.

"Starscream…" he waved the other two Autobots away.

He looked up at the Autobot leader for only a second. "Prime…"

"Let's go for a walk, shall we?" Optimus suggested.

Starscream looked up at him warily, but slowly stood back up. He wanted to groan when his stats showed he was straining ever bit of his body but he held back the urge. "Yes, let's…"

After some time of silence Optimus turned to the former decepticon second in command. "I am quite pleased that you brought Flareup here to us. You have all our thanks, and I owe you one…" he looked away a little awkwardly.

_Flareup_… Starscream turned the name over in his processor. He recognized it from some reports he had read a long time ago. The fiery femme had been a bit of a prodigy, starting as search and rescue and quickly moving up to a more offensive position. She was a little careless and got into trouble a lot. And…She was known to like blowing things up…

He sighed tiredly. "Prime, could I cash that 'I owe you'?" he asked, feeling a bit more then faint now.

The Autobot looked at him suspiciously. "What is it you want exactly?"

He stumbled, barely catching himself on the wall. "I need energon." He stated, and with a slight grimace he continued. "And after this ordeal with…Flareup… I could use a little medical attention it that's not too much of a bother…"

Optimus nodded quickly. "Very well, this way." He motioned down a hall, Starscream hoped in the direction of some energon.

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After refueling, Starscream again watched as Ratchet worked. The Autobot scout and wrecker had backed off of him but still kept him in their line of sight.

He felt much better now. He was finally up to optimal function and Ratchet had just informed them all that Flareup was out of critical condition. All they had to do now was wait for her to wake up…

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**Okay, next chapter might take a little longer than this one to upload, I'm going camping for the next week and won't have access to a computer for forever. So sorry, unless I get another chapter written by Thursday I won't have one out for maybe a long time.**

**Well I hope you guys like it! Btw, Flareup is actually a real Autobot, she is not my OC. Just thought I'd say that. Please leave a review! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**So I don't know if I'll get this chapter done by Thursday like my last chapter said, but I'm starting it the day I last updated. Now without further ado, Enjoy! :)**

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It was three hours after she was taken off constant watch before she moved. Starscream watched her turn over onto her blackened side and groan. Ratchet looked up from repairing the Decepticon's leg to glance at her, but she seemed to be still deep in recharge.

"So…Where's Arcee?" Starscream asked, flinching when everyone in the room visibly stiffened.

"That is none of your current concern." Optimus said simply but behind his blank expression his optics showed unconditional worry for the femme.

Starscream smirked but said no more about it. She was obviously in trouble and the rest of her team obviously couldn't do anything about it.

"So, how long until she wakes up?" He asked, pointing to Flareup.

Ratchet growled. "Hopefully long after you're gone…" he scoffed, snapping a cast down rather hard over the Decepticon's knee.

After a mild curse, Starscream crossed his arms defiantly. "I'm not leaving until I know she's alright…" The more accurate truth might have been that he didn't want to go back to being alone so soon, but he went with the excuse of concern.

He looked passed the medic to the femme, seeing something moving by her. He soon realized that it was just a human, but not one of the three usually with the Autobots. This one was new to him.

Ratchet walked out of the room and the Seeker chuckled.

"And who might you be, little fleshling?" He asked, his voice reaching its creepy malicious tone.

The girl looked up at him, pausing in her work of scrubbing some bad metal from the femme's arm. "The name's Lyla. Nice to meet you Starscream." She said simply, going back to her work.

He did a bit of a double-take. The girl didn't seem afraid in the least…

He growled quietly and stared at the ceiling to pass the time.

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A soft groan, turned painful sounding screech, brought all attention in the room to the femme on the medical berth. She bolted upright very ungracefully, losing balance and falling to the floor. She stumbled around, pointing smaller looking blasters at anyone in sight. An ungodly sound erupted from her and she grasped at her throat, coughing.

"Flareup, calm down." Ratchet forced her to sit back on the berth.

She looked around, confusion evident on her face. Her lips parted, but instead of words the horrid sound came again, like a screeching owl. Her eyes widened and she doubled over coughing again.

Starscream watched her, looking her over almost sadly. "She's lost her voice?"

Bumblebee whirled sympathetically behind the lone 'con.

Ratchet nodded, running a few scans over Flareup. "I was afraid this might happen." The femme tried again to speak but he quickly silenced her. "Flareup, don't speak. If you don't strain yourself this might not become permanent."

She looked about the room, her eyes finally resting upon Starscream. She seemed to calm down more visibly, seeing his familiar face.

Not sure exactly why, he instinctively went to her side. Before he could think, she was holding his hand in her smaller one…_tightly_. He winced and almost pulled away, but she seemed to be more relaxed with him there.

Seeing her optics open he noticed that they were a fiery color of red, orange, and yellow mixed. And her gaze made him feel petrified. Something in his spark started to whirl and he knew that he wanted to take care of her, make sure that she got well again.

Sitting by her on the berth, he gave her a reassuring smile. "Everything will be just fine." He told her.

She gave him a weak smile in return.

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**Short, I know. But hey, I got it finished before Thursday like I said I'd try to! :)**

**So, Lyla is actually my OC from a story that I might post up here soon. Her name is Lillian but I might get into that in the actual story about her. She has an interesting story that I really want to share but it all depends on what happens.**

**Please Review, take a gander at my other stories or my pictures on DA. Please, I would like lots of feedback by the time I get home from camp! Thank-you for reading and Goodnight! (or good-morning, depending on where you live). :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! I'm back!**

**After reading reviews, that I love and cherish a bunch, I started this chapter. So here you go.**

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Something clinked behind him, and Starscream's eyes widened. Suddenly he realized just what he had gotten into when he went through the portal to the Autobots' base.

He looked over his shoulder at Optimus Prime. The leader of the Autobots held a pair of servo-cuffs in one hand, and had one cannon pointed at the ex-seeker. Starscream gulped and flinched back with a whimper when the commander took a step forward.

Flareup seemed a little confused when Starscream started to retreat. She probably didn't know that he was an ex-con and was still needing to be brought to justice.

He scrambled away from the Prime, but in his frightened state he accidentally cornered himself against the wall. What would they do to him? Would they torture him for information? That didn't seem the Autobot type…Perhaps they would be merciful and just kill him.

"Starscream…" Optimus' expression softened but only by a little bit. "In all rights, I should take you into custody right now." He paused for a moment, lowering his cannon and tossing the cuffs aside (but not to far as to be out of reach). "But, I will make you an offer I have before. Stay here with us and help us bring to an end the oppressive hand of Megatron."

"A-and what if I refuse?" He demanded. "What will you _do_ to me?"

The Prime bit down on his lower lip. "If you choose to refuse…I have larger issues than trying to keep you prisoner at the moment. Refuse and you will be transported back to where we picked you up."

"Shouldn't you kill me?" The words slipped out before he could stop them. Bulkhead seemed to agree, looking for any sign from the Prime to attack.

Optimus shook his head. "You saved one of our own today. And you came to us with only a little faith that we would not kill you on sight… I don't think that eliminating you now would be very fitting." Pulling down the lever to the ground bridge, the green swirling mass returned to the tunnel. "If you wish to leave, there's the door." He said simply before turning back to the computers, not so descretely looking at Arcee's life signal.

Starscream looked from the Autobot leader to the ground-bridge. Freedom was so close at hand, yet he didn't move.

He glanced at Flareup, who appeared to finally have a grasp on the situation. She stared back at him, her optics glued to the insignia on his chest. She looked surprise yet curious at the same time as to why he would help her. She grimaced and lay back fully on the berth. The little human continued to scrape and polish her up.

Starscream sighed and took a few tentative steps towards the ground-bridge, but stopped just before entering. Taking a last look at everyone in the room, he turned his head to the portal and mumbled. "I will have to consider your offer Prime…"

He stepped into the swirling tunnel, but not before hearing the leader's reply. "Very well Starscream…"

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Scouting the wreckage did nothing to distract him. He just couldn't get the image of her burning bright optics out of his processor!

Starscream kicked a piece of the spacecraft and it skittered away, flinging dirt into the air. _I will have to consider your offer_… he couldn't believe he had said that. Any self respecting Seeker would've taken the chance to stab Prime in the back and then make a run for it. Though he supposed he wasn't very self respecting anymore.

"I am quite despicable…" he mumbled out loud. Never would he ever consider becoming an Autobot… but something still tugged at his spark. Something kept reasoning with him that it wasn't a bad option.

"AAaagghh!" he screamed his frustration into the early morning light. "Primus, why must you torture me so?" he collapsed to his knees in the dirt, feeling so confused and lost. He felt that he was wondering in a world of darkness, and no one was willing to turn on the lights…

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**So there you go. Sorry if it is a little weird, I just did get back from not writing for a week. Leave a review please! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks to the reviewers and the person who sent me the really nice PM, they really do encourage me to complete these. :) BTW, for those of you who asked for more of Lyla, I posted the first chapter of her story up "Friend and Family". Hope it interests you guys, but on to the reason you are reading this story. **

**Without further ado, Chapter 7! :)**

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He was beginning to wonder if all that had been just a figment of his imagination…

Starscream glanced over at the crashed ship and was reminded that it was indeed real. He had completed his scavenging of the fallen Autobot ship a week ago, and so far its owner hadn't shown her face since. In fact, everything seemed quiet at the moment. Optimus hadn't called to see if Starscream had accepted his offer to join the Autobots. It seemed they had already forgotten about him.

He growled and decided to take a walk.

He didn't know why he felt so irritated by it. The fact that he had helped the Autobots and they hadn't bothered to even acknowledge his existence afterwards just bugged him. He felt yet again ignored and pushed aside.

He kicked a fallen branch and watched it fly away into the trees.

Who was he kidding? He wasn't one of them… they had no reason to check up with him. But they had offered to take him in, hadn't they?

Shaking his head sadly, Starscream sat down on a large rock by the river he had become fond of. He sat with his feet in the water, with no care as to if he would rust because of it. He watched the water rush around him, flowing away from his legs. In a way, it reminded him how everyone seemed to abandon him.

He sighed tiredly. He was yet again running low on energon, he would have to go scout for some soon if he was to survive…

Survive.

The word seemed strange to him now. It didn't feel as scary anymore. The word had once brought such fear into Starscream's spark. Now, he merely thought it a nuisance. Surviving just meant another day of torture for him. It just brought him the annoying constant pain back into his chest.

He reflected back to the day he had almost gone through with injecting poison into himself. _It is still an option_… he mused to himself, cocking his head to one side thoughtfully. But somehow now, he knew he wouldn't. No matter what pain he felt, he was…curious. He wondered just what would happen to him now, if the Autobots ever did contact him again.

He wondered, if they did, how would he respond?

* * *

The sky had grown dark by the time Starscream returned to the Harbinger. He dragged his feet in the dirt tiredly, looking directly at the ground with half shut optics. He had memorized the paths around the Harbinger and he had become used to walking them habitually.

Entering into the med bay, he grabbed the syringe of poison that he had never bothered to put away and looked at it. It wasn't very appealing of an idea, but he walked with it out into the empty corridors. He had decided that he would keep it in his room, that made it a little easier to access if he did ever go through with it.

His lone footsteps echoed aimlessly through the halls. Sometimes he wished that he had a pet, just something to hear alongside his own footsteps. He was so tired of only hearing himself, he could almost imagine another pair of footsteps coming up from behind him…

…_Wait_…

He stopped abruptly. And sure enough, there was another set of footsteps. He cringed and ducked into a nearby room.

What if it was Megatron, finally here to destroy him? He knew this day would come but he hadn't thought it would be so soon… As he listened closer he noted that the sound was too quiet to be Megatron. This person was significantly lighter.

There was a beep and a whirl coming from out in the hall, and Starscream sighed in annoyance. _Bumblebee_… he growled and emerged into the hallway. "What is the meaning of sneaking up on me in my own -" he stopped in mid sentence, his jaw dropping in surprise.

The femme in front of him turned around and gave him a sheepish-apologetic smile. [sorry], she beeped, sounding just like the yellow Autobot scout. But she sure wasn't Bumblebee, and she had the curves to prove it.

He gaped at her, completely stunned. She was gorgeous! He hardly would've recognized her if it wasn't for her bright optics. She had been repaired, and given a bright red, orange and yellow paintjob. Flames were painted across her chest and hips, and her lips were just the palest shade of pink. Her small winglets were red with a single yellow stripe up them and her help was decorated with a red Autobot insignia.

_Wow_…

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**There you go! :) hope you like it. Leave a review or PM me, thank you for reading! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey, I just got like five seconds of free time and decided to upload this. Chapter 8!**

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"Flareup?" Starscream looked her over again just to be sure he wasn't seeing things. And when he blinked a few times and shook his head he was thrilled that she didn't disappear. She was still standing there with shy smile on her face, and he continued to stare at her dumbfounded.

[I'm sorry] she beeped, sounding horridly like Bumblebee. [I didn't mean to startle you.]

Starscream shook his head, waving away the comment quickly. "No, no, it's fine. Don't worry about it." He almost even laughed, he was so happy to see _someone_. But his joy was short lived and he mumbled quietly. "What are you doing here?"

Flareup shrugged. [I guess I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Optimus told me you're all alone out here. And also...You saved my life, and I never got the chance to thank you.] She shuffled her feet a bit. [So, thank you...]

The corner of his lip twitched into a rare genuine smile. "You're welcome." But he eyed her suspiciously. "Did Prime send you?"

She bit down on her lower lip, but after a pause she shrugged. [He didn't send me, but he did want to know if you had made up your mind about his offer.]

Starscream groaned, turning away from her and stalking down the hall. He heard her hurried footsteps perusing him, and he slowed his pace. "I don't have an answer for him."

She beeped behind him frantically. [He doesn't expect one.] She assured him. [We don't want to rush you at all!]

He stopped, turning to face her again. "Why are you really here Flareup? You must have an alternate motive. No one-and I mean no one-ever willingly comes to me unless they want something from me." He crossed his arms, looking her in the optics. When they locked gazes he felt that their blazing depths burning him from the spark out. He didn't want her to have ulterior motive. He wished with all his spark that she had just wanted...well...just to see him.

She shook her head, looking down at the floor. But then her optics locked on something. [What is that?] She was obviously trying to change the subject, but what she pointed at made him jump to cover it up.

He quickly hid the syringe behind his back. "N-nothing!" he stuttered shamefully. "It's-it's just s-something I was putting away."

He shifted even farther away when she tried to get a better look.

She finally shrugged, seeming to give up. [Well, when you're done putting that away do you think...] she looked down at her feet awkwardly. [Could you take me to my ship?]

He sighed inwardly, disappointed. He knew she would have an alternate motive... "Of course…" before he totally crushed his own spark with self insults about how stupid he was to hope she would just want to see him he decided to ask one more question. "Is that all you came here for, so I could take you to your ship?"

She shook her head with a small smile. [No.]

* * *

Starscream roamed around the wreckage aimlessly. He had told her there was nothing to find but she had been insistent. "I scavenged this ship while you were recovering. Nothing much is salvageable from this wreck. You were lucky you didn't die on impact." He leaned against the ship as she tore her way into the wreckage.

[He has to be in here!] She said as if to herself.

_He?_ Starscream felt something clench inside of him. Suddenly he didn't really want to find out what she was trying to find. _He? _What if there had been another passenger that he hadn't found? _What if she-Oh Primus!- What if she had a Sparkmate?  
_

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**Please Review! :) Thank you for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

Starscream jumped out of his thoughts as Flareup yelped and fell inwards into the ship. Nothing but her legs were visible, and they waved about clumsily.

"Wouldn't it have been easier to just use the hatch that I pulled you out of, the hatch I went through to search the ship?" he walked around to her, chuckling nervously. What if she had had a Sparkmate? What would he do then? Shut up! He told himself. It had been pathetic in the first place to think that she might like him.

She seemed to ignore his comment. [Give me a push will you?!]

"Um..." he placed a servo on her lower back awkwardly, and another one on her-

She froze, stiffening. [Get your hand off of my Aft!]

Starscream pulled away, completely and utterly embarrassed. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to- um... You see- I wasn't trying to, uh..."

[Just shut up and push.] She suggested.

He nodded quickly, although she couldn't see. Settling to having her knee braced against him, he shoved her farther into the hole. He felt her thin calves slide against him as she disappeared into the dark crevice, and he held his breath.

When he thought about his uneasiness, he felt incompetent and disgusted at his feelings. Sure, he was in the presence of a femme. Grant it, she was a very attractive femme. But that gave his insides no right to do back-flips every time she looked his direction.

He sighed, and listened to her rummaging through the hole.

How long had it been since he had felt this way? When was the last time he looked at a person of the opposite gender and had a smile given back to him? How long had it been since he had even touched a femme? He honestly didn't want to be honest about those facts. But maybe it wasn't too unrealistic that he was feeling the way he was... Clumsy, Awkward, and completely enslaved to those Eyes!

But what would he do, if she was looking for her Sparkmate?

There was a noise if triumph from down in the crack, and he turned towards it. [I found him!] she didn't sound horrified... [Here, help me up.] Her hand appeared at the entrance of the hole.

He took her smaller servo in his and hoisted her up with little trouble. When she was out she settled to the ground and pulled something off of her back.

[Here he is...] She ran her hand down the barrel of the long sleek sniper rifle. [Isn't he a beauty?]

Starscream stared at her for a moment, dumbfounded. He looked from her, to the weapon, to the way she fondled the thing, back up to her face. He shook his head, completely at a loss for words because of the object, but at the same time totally relieved.

_She doesn't have a Sparkmate...that I know of_... He cleared his throat. "You had me worried...about that?!" He tried to sound pissed, but came to close to laughing in disbelief. "Woman, I thought that someone had been trapped down there!"

She swiveled her head to look at him, and gave him a bit of a mischievous smile. [Of course!] She beeped in almost a teasing manner. [This here is my baby! He and I have been together since the beginning of the war...] she stroked it lovingly.

Starscream looked at the weapon with a little more scrutiny. "It is of decepticon design..." he mused aloud.

She glanced up at him, but said nothing.

He continued his suspicious rambling. "And now that I come to think of it, you don't seem to despise me like most Autobots..." he moved so that he was standing over her. "Why might that be?"

She stood up, re-adjusting the gun before strapping it back onto her back. [You got me, I started out as one of the "decepticreeps" but that was a while ago. I met Optimus Prime on the field in battle. He convinced me to join the Autobots and I never looked back.] She started walking back in the direction of the harbinger. [I don't show my resent to Decepticons because I pity them. I want to help them.]

Starscream didn't know if he should be impressed at her or insulted at her comment. He decided it would be best to simply ignore it. "I see you use a manual gun, and not one attached to yourself."

She looked down at the ground, her hands clasped together uneasily. [I don't have any that are attached to me.]

"Why not?"

She bit down on her bottom lip. Her bright optics wandered, but she said nothing.

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**What secrets does Flareup have to hide? Stay tuned... Please Review! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

Flare shook her head. [Never ask that again.] her eyes were dangerously dark. But then her expression softened. [I don't mind you asking questions but that is just a little...personal... _Never_ask me about it again.]

He nodded probably a lot faster than he needed to. "I understand." he fell in line beside her. Walking in no direction in particular, they wandered in silence through the forest back into a clearing where they could overlook the crashed section of the Harbinger.

[So, you want to try it out?]

"What?" he wasn't sure he had heard that correctly. Him shoot a hand held gun? He had never done that before and wasn't so excited to be made a fool of in front of her, again.

She shoved the large rifle into his servos and smiled. [Come on! It's fun. Besides, it's the perfect model for someone who doesn't have a T-cog.] She helped adjust his servos on the gun, moving them forward and down. [Loosen your grip, it's not someone's neck you have to wring…] He took her advice silently, thinking as she moved him around. Her servos were gentle against him. She pushed her thumb into his back strut, forcing him to stand up without hunching. He tried to ignore the rapid waves of pleasure coursing down his spine. [There you go.] She finished.

Starscream bit down on his glossa, refusing to let his mind wander. "H-how do I shoot it?" he didn't even dare raise the weapon yet.

She moved around him to his other side. [It's really easy. I said before it was designed for 'cons without T-cogs. They're special made so that it is easy… I was really lucky to get my hands on this one…] she trailed off, as if in thought but quickly snapped back. [So, all you do is aim and pull the release.]

He vented nervously before raising the gun. "What am I shooting at exactly?" he tried one last time to get out of it. But she obviously wasn't going to let him get away with that. Scanning the horizon she pointed out an unordinary looking dead tree. He shook his head. "Alright…" Raising the scope to eye level he searched for the tree. When he finally found it he almost groaned, it looked so tiny! He wasn't a sniper, he wasn't trained to aim. He was more of a point and shoot kind of guy.

[Take a deep breath. Take your time.]

He silently took a few steadying breaths. And he waited…

Bang!

"HOLY PIT!" he shoved the rifle back in her servos. "Ow! That thing is a beast!" he cradled his left elbow in pain. "What happened? What did I ever do to you to deserve that?" he mentally slapped himself when he realized he was talking to the gun. Flareup laughed.

[It's okay, you were just holding it wrong. You locked your elbow joint. You need to relax when you shoot. Don't feel stressed in any way.] She wrapped her fingers around his sore and took a look at it. [You just popped it out of place.] Grabbing his arm she jammed it back together.

It took all of his will not to shout every Cybertronian curse word he knew. He screamed at the sudden pain, but as soon as it came it was gone. His voice cracked as he moaned. "That hurt…"

[You need to take better care of yourself. When's the last time you got checked up?] She shook her head and held out the gun. [Never mind, stupid question. Come on, try it again.]

"No! No!" he never wanted to try that again ever.

[Well, what do you want to do?] She asked, raising the gun to eye level. Within ten seconds she had found the target and shot it. He watched as it blew up in flames.

"Wait," he realized what she had just said. "Aren't you going back to the Autobots?"

She shrugged. [I don't have to.] She admitted. [I've been told I can do and go wherever I want to.] She shouldered the gun. [And I think it's sad that you're out here all alone.]

"I don't need your pity!" he snapped, then bit his glossa again to shut him up.

[No, you're right. You don't need my pity. But if you want, I can stay to keep you company here until you've made up your mind about becoming an Autobot.]

Starscream sighed. "I knew you'd have an ulterior motive for coming here…"

She walked past him, rolling her optics. [Everyone has ulterior motives, you of all people should know that.] She jumped down a section of cliff and turned to call up to him. [You coming or what?]

He looked down after her. Sure she had another motive for coming to see him, but did that really matter? He bit his lip in thought. Who cares, I've got nothing to lose. He jumped down after her. "Ow!" he felt his ankle pop.

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**So, next chapter will be a few months later, just so nobody is confused. Thanks for putting up with me as I write this, I'm trying to get it done. It should actually have maybe 10 chapters left…maybe, knowing me it might end up around 20 more chapters… Oh well, who really cares? Please leave a review and tell me what you all think. :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Some fluff in this chapter, if you want to call it that. :)**

* * *

[Come on Starscream!] Flareup shouted back at him. [Hurry up!]

Starscream stumbled after her, climbing up the rocky 'hill' as she had called it. It was more a cliff edge than I hill. And it was a pain to climb. "I'd rather take my time!" he shouted back to her. "Plummeting almost a thousand feet to my demise isn't exactly the way I want to go out!" He saw her look over her shoulder at him with a smirk.

[There's water at the bottom, you'll survive!] She laughed.

At the sound of her laughter, he laughed too. In the two months that he had gotten to know Flareup he had learned that her laughter was downright contagious, and that she had no fear of death.

[Hurry up!] She shouted again.

"I'm coming, just give me a second!" _How the heck did she get past this part?_ He searched for a hand hold but found none in sight. He sighed and climbed downwards to a point where he could change directions before attempting to follow her.

As he slowly ascended the rock cliff he noticed that she had paused to wait for him, playfully mocking how slow he was. He rolled his optics and shook his head, making her laugh again. And he smiled, he liked making her laugh.

Finally getting to a point where he was almost level with her he called over the sound of the wind. "Why are we doing this?"

[You'll see!] She promised with a wink. [The top isn't far now.] She started again, almost immediately leaving him in the dust behind her.

He watched her for a moment, thinking. She had practically lived with him in the Harbinger for the last two months, only going back to the Autobots when called. She had helped him become a little more open, and even started making him seriously consider becoming an Autobot on _one_ occasion. She hadn't mentioned Prime's offer in weeks, but it was always at the back of his mind.

The top really hadn't been that far away, but when he reached the edge he was exhausted. "Why-" he coughed, feeling his head spin for a moment. "Why are we up here?" his arms felt a little weak from the climb but in a way it felt good. He sat down, letting his legs hang over the edge as he let his systems rest.

[We're up here to see this.] She pointed out over the ocean to the earth sun, where it was setting into the distant waters. She sat down beside him and they watched it in silence. The fog over the ocean faded the bright light into a yellow mist but as it slowly dipped into horizon the sky lit up colors of orange and pink.

They watched the sky until it grew dark and then listened to the waves crashing against the cliffs for a moment, as the stars emerged. After a minute he felt her head rest against his shoulder. He stiffened in surprise, something in his stomach turned upside down, but he remained silent. Instead of moving away like he instinctively thought to do he slowly wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer. He wasn't used to a kind touch. For the longest time he had the harsh hand of his leader, the painful punishments and times in the infirmary. He was still new to her 'moments', but he liked the contact. But even though he liked it, he still found times where he would shy away from her out of habit.

[What did you think?] She inquired, whispering into his audio receptors.

He looked down at her with a smile. "Beautiful…for a sight on a planet such as this one." He added quickly. He never would admit that earth was a beautiful planet.

He felt her shoulders heave in a sigh before she stood up. [We should probably get back to the Harbinger now.]

"Yes, we probably should." Standing up he took the remote control for the ground-bridge from a clip on his hip and punched in the coordinates. The portal swirled to life a few feet away but he didn't enter. Looking down the cliff edge and feeling the wind rush past him reminded him of flying. He missed it, but somehow the pain of losing that power wasn't so great anymore. Flareup had helped him realize that he didn't need the power to transform to live. He hadn't seen her transform once since he had met her.

Something clicked in his processor, something that he realized he should have caught onto in the beginning. She had never transformed. Was that because she didn't want to make him feel bad, as she had suggested, or was it because she _couldn't_? He looked back at her, studying her.

"Hmm." He cocked an eyebrow, and followed her through the portal. Whatever the answer, he decided he wouldn't ask. He didn't want to upset her…

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**Sorry if my writing style has changed a bit. I just spent a month writing with my cousin and my style tends to change when she's over. **

**Thanks for reading, Please review! :)**


	12. Chapter 12

Starscream lay on his berth, staring at the ceiling intently. His processor was hard at work, it was as if all other body functions had been put in hold for him to think. When he sighed his breath came out of his chest in a sound of content. So why did he feel incomplete?

He sat up slowly, thinking of his night on the cliffs with Flareup. He had enjoyed every single minute of it, he realized. Why did he? Well, he didn't want to admit it even to himself.

He crossed his arms, letting his head bang against the wall as he leaned back. He felt so ecstatic, and yet so miserable. Every time he saw her he wanted to shout in joy and every time he watched her leave to report to Optimus Prime he felt his spark clench, missing her, wondering if she would ever return. She always did come back but he stilled wondered every time she left if that was the last time he would see her. The last time he'd hear her laugh or see her smile, or joke at his expense.

Why hasn't she come back yet? He shut his optics tightly, banging his head against the wall again. It had been nearly a week and he hadn't heard from her at all! Maybe he had seen her for the last time...

He moaned and looked down at the ground sadly. If he was completely honest with himself he knew she had no reason to come back at all. He just found himself hoping and wishing to hear and feel her familiar presence again...

He glances across the room at the syringe of poison that he still hadn't put away. It was constantly there, constantly mocking him and reminding him of all the reasons he was pathetic, unneeded, useless. It was a frequently seen symbol of his true feelings deep down in his spark. Even though Flareup had brought joy to his life, it was only a bandaid to the bleeding hole in his spark.

He slowly rose to his feet, walking over to the poison. He stared down at it uncertainly. _You know your life isn't worth scrap, why do you torment yourself?_ The voice in his head returned to peep its ugly head into the picture. _No one cares about you... No one will even know you're gone..._

"You're wrong..." he mumbled to himself, turning away quickly and stomping out of his quarters. "Flareup cares about me..."

He could almost hear the voice laugh in scorn. _You really think she cares about you?! You really think she gives a damn what happens to you?! She's an Autobot, you're a Decepticon! She will Never care about you! And she will never feel the same way you do. You are just a pathetic worm to her, who just barely managed to gain her pity because you saved her life!_

"No, no..." he clamped his servos over his audio receptors. "No, you're wrong! Shut up!" he whimpered, slumping against the wall and sliding down to sit on the ground. "Go away..." he buried his tearing optics in his servos and sobbed. "Just go away!"

[Go away? I just got back!]

He snapped his head up, his sanity returning almost the moment he saw her face. "Flareup!" he stood up quickly, wrapping his arms around her before she could leave (not that she was actually going to). "When-How long have you been here?" he quickly wiped the optic lubricants from his face as he released her from his tight hug.

She seemed a little surprised at his sudden touch but smiled happily, wiping some Energon away from the ridge of his optic softly. [Not long.] she stroked his cheek comfortingly, looking at him with concern. [Starscream, are you okay? You don't look well...]

"I'm fine." he insisted, looking anywhere but directly at her.

She pulled him down gently to more her level and looked into his optics. She spread one farther open, as if searching through them to the other side of his processor. [When was the last time you had your processor scanned for viruses?] she cupped his cheek, probably checking his temperature.

Starscream shut his optics and pressed into her touch, as he whisper an answer. "Probably since I left the Decepticons." he felt so tired and worn out he could have fainted.

She was still there when his gaze refocused but she looked horrifiedly worried. [Starscream, I think you need to see a doctor.]

He pulled away from her, feeling oddly agitated. "I don't have a doctor to go see! I can't exactly go to Knockout for a check up anymore." he mumbled, turning away.

He felt her smaller servo clamp around his wrist tightly. [You can come with me to see Ratchet.]

He laughed, looking at her with disbelief. "Your just as crazy as I am if you think I'm going to just waltz into the Autobot base."

[I understand how you must feel Star, but you have to trust me. You need to be looked at.]

He stared at her. "I trust you Flareup," he said slowly, "it's them I don't trust."

[I promise, nothing bad will happen to you.]

"Define 'bad'..." he murmured.

She sighed, giving him an incredulous look. [Trust me Starscream, please! It's for your own good. I promise that nothing will happen to you.] she pleaded him to come with her. [Just let Ratchet check your systems for any bugs. You don't look vary good...]

He vented slowly, his optics locking with hers. "Very well..."

_She's going to hurt you Starscream. She's going to betray you and you know it. Kill her now and run while you have the chance!_

He watched as she contacted the Autobots, clenching his fists. Gritting his detna he grumbled at his inner voice. "Shut Up!"

* * *

**Poor Starscream... Going crazy and talking to himself... I was really trying to go for somewhat depressing in this chapter...so, ****Please Review and tell me how I did! :)**

**The next chapter should be up really soon because it's already done! I just have to edit it. :)**


	13. Chapter 13

Starscream hesitated in front of the ground-bridge, staring into the tunnel with dread. His still form didn't go unnoticed however, and Flareup turned back to him. She gave him a small sympathetic smile and motion for him to follow her. But he didn't move. He couldn't move. He felt sick inside, almost queasy.

He took in deep breaths when he started over heating and knelt down on the ground. He couldn't imagine why he was feeling sick now, he had been just fine before! But when he thought about it he realized that his health had been decreasing the last few days while Flareup had been gone.

He doubled over, holding his stomach. "Oh-I don't feel good..." he groaned, clenching his detna.

He felt her hand in his shoulder, gently stroking the tip of his wing comfortingly. [I told you you didn't look good. Do you believe me now?]

He leaned forward over the ground, coughing horrible retching sounds until he finally threw up everything he actually had in his Energon tanks. When it finally stopped he coughed again. It hurt. And it was humiliating.

[I'll take that as a yes.] She sounded very concerned. [We might need a little help...]

He ignored her as she sent a message to the Autobots. He felt so weak, he was shaking uncontrollably! He choked another cough, his optics going dark and his vision black momentarily. He heard someone exit the ground-bridge and saw a pair of feet stand before him.

Two strong hands wrapped around his arms and he was hauled to his feet. The bright red chest in his vision made Starscream groan. "Do you think you can walk?" Optimus asked, removing his support slightly to see.

Flareup quickly moved under Starscream's arm to support him as he wavered. [Of course he can't. I wouldn't have called you if he could!] She snapped.

The Prime nodded and picked up the ex-con in his arms, carrying him through the ground-bridge bridal style.

Starscream groaned. _Could this day get any worse?!_He shut his optics as he began to fill sick again. Although he didn't like the situation he was in he didn't want to spill his insides out on the only people helping him.

Before he knew it he was being put down on a medical berth. He opened his optics slowly, letting them adjust to the bright light and looked around. Flareup was nearby talking with the Autobot medic and Optimus had left to speak with Bumblebee and the others.

He groaned again and let his head bang against the table. He felt like he was burning from the inside out! And he felt like sleep was slowly starting to take him away from consciousness. His optics stayed only half open and he slowly felt them closing.

"Hey-stay awake!" he jumped with a shriek as Ratchet hit him on the head with a tool.

Flareup glared at the doctor, coming between him and the patient. When Ratchet shrugged and left she turned back to Starscream. [Don't mind him, he's just a big grouch.] She sat down next to him on the berth. [How are you feeling?]

He laughed painfully, sarcastically answering her. "Just dandy..."

She smiled at him sadly and stroked his cheek with her thumb. He vented and closed his eyes for a brief moment. Her touch was soft and loving. Loving... he couldn't remember the last time he could use that word.

"Flareup?" he looked at her, raising his own servo to take hers. He removed it slowly from his face and then held it against his chest, over his spark. She looked at him curiously but said nothing. "I-I was wondering... Do you-?" he stopped himself as Ratchet came back into the room. "Thank-you..." he murmured to her quietly.

He turned away to look at the wall. _You idiot! Did you seriously almost ask her if she loved you?! Are you stupid?  
_  
He clenched his optics shut, willing the voice to go away. He had almost asked her that. He wanted to do badly! And he wanted to tell her how he felt... _You are stupid..._

He groaned in annoyance and emotional agony. But he stopped beating himself, realizing that she was still letting him hold her hand. He knew his hopes could never be true but he still enjoyed the comfort of having her so close.

"Alright, let's see if we can fix you." Ratchet grumbled.

_You can't fix this. This con is broken for good, damaged beyond repair!_The voice laughed.

"What are you going to do?" he asked, feeling his Spark-rate quicken in anticipation.

"For now, I'll just run some tests." he said, prepping a syringe of purplish liquid. "This will stabilize your Energon deficiency and will help you stay alert."

_Why bother? Just kill him! We both know that you want to!_He sighed tiredly. "Just-make it quick." he pleaded.

* * *

**There we go. :) Next chapter will be up as soon as I finish it.**

**I'd just like to say thank-you to all of you awesome reviewers, and readers out there. I have about four thousand views on here and that makes me so happy. So, Thank-you all! :)**


	14. Chapter 14

Through the entire procedure of scans and probing, Flareup stayed with him by his side. All twelve grueling hours.

It was getting late. And Starscream realized that Flareup _wasn't_leaving his side. She was starting to nod off, sitting on the medical berth closest to him, one servo resting in one of his. He stroked his thumb over her delicate fingers, causing her to start.

"Flareup, why don't you go get some sleep?" he suggested. "You've been with me for hours, you should get some rest."

She shook her head stubbornly. [Someone has to stay with you.] she stated tiredly, her optics dimming.

He squeezed her servo and looked down at the cuffs keeping him chained to the berth. "I'm not going anywhere. I don't think it necessary to have a guard." he tried to convince her that there was no need for someone to be there.

She shook her head again. [No, I mean I don't want you to feel alone.]

His optics widened slightly at that. He hadn't even thought about that, he just thought that she didn't trust him in the base. The thought that she just wanted to stay with him made him smile, but he shook his head slightly. "I'm fine." he insisted, letting go of her servo. "Go lie down. You need the rest."

She vented, looking from him, to Ratchet (who was at the computer looking over some test results), to the hall and then back to him. She smiled slightly. And got up. [Alright, I'll lie down, only because you insisted.]

He closed his optics, glad that she would listen to him, but then he froze when he suddenly felt her body next to his. She cuddled against him with a hand over his chest and a leg draped over his thighs. She fit perfectly between his arm and chest, her head nestled comfortably on his shoulder. His breath hitched in his chest when breathed softly against him.

[I don't want you to be alone.] she said again, this time stroking his Decepticon insignia.

He shuddered pitifully when her leg wrapped around one of his, and she laughed softly. [Someone's a little jumpy.] she smiled against him, shifting to be more comfortable.

_Jumpy is an understatement._The voice in the back of his mind laughed at him. "Jumpy perhaps, but not without good reason." he said, shifting so he could stroke her back with his fingertips without tearing up his wrists on the cuffs.

She smiled, humoring him when he didn't tell her why. [What good reason could you possibly have, Star?] she asked.

He smiled sheepishly, turning so she couldn't see the blush reddening his face. "Nothing good ever comes from having a femme's leg right between yours..."

She laughed, a little loud for how quiet the room was. Quickly biting her bottom lip she suppressed the laugh into a quiet giggle. [Mechs...] she said, finally closing her optics.

He watched her fall into recharge, still stroking her back with his fingertips. She was so beautiful, and she was so thoughtful. She had realized that he couldn't stand being alone before it even occurred to him. And she was sleeping in his arms, well, kind of.

He looked down at her fondly. _You know this femme is going to hurt you. When have they ever done otherwise? They only use you to get something.  
_  
"But I don't have anything for her to take. I have nothing she couldn't get on her own." he reasoned with the voice, his spark skipping a beat when she moved closer to him. "She has nothing to gain from this."

_Perhaps she just wants to rip out your spark for the fun of it? You and I both know how that ended up last time. Let go while you still can. Distance yourself.  
_  
He sighed tiredly, shutting his optics for a moment. "Perhaps you're right." he mumbled.

_When have I not been right?_ It said triumphantly. _Just dump her before things are set in motion. You can still stop this.  
_  
He opened his optics again. This time they were ablaze with stubbornness. "I don't want it to stop." he said defiantly. "I don't care if she rips my spark out, it's worth it to feel like this."

_Don't. Don't you dare say it. There's no going back if you say it._

He leaned over her as far as he could. Looking down at her face he knew he was right. Softly, he kissed her helm. "I love you Flareup."

_I can't believe you just said it._

* * *

**And so _it_ starts... :)**

**Even though this chapter is short I am reletivly proud of it. I'm not all that good at romance, if I've learned anything it's that it takes practice.**

**Please do review. :)**


	15. Chapter 15

"Alright, that's enough." there was a pause as footsteps approached. "Flareup!"

The femme jumped to alertness and Starscream awoke with an agonizing jolt, shrieking shrilly in pain as Flareup's knee rammed up his crotch. He gasped, clenching his detna tightly to keep from screaming. Flareup looked around confusedly and then looked down at him.

[Oh, by the Allspark! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!] she quickly got off of the berth, looking both embarrassed and horrified. [I-I didn't mean to- I mean, uh...] she covered her mouth with a servo, he could tell that she was trying to hold back a smile. [I guess you were right...]

He cringed, wishing he could curl up in a ball it hurt so badly. _Dude, she just kicked you in the gonads! Do you still like her?_The voice laughed.

He took a deep breath and glared at the bot that had woke them up. Ratchet stood by them, his expression awfully not amused. "Flareup," she turned to the medic, "can you get my scanner and data pad? I left them by the computer."

She nodded quickly and left. Starscream watched her leave, wishing that he could have joined her. He hated the thought of being alone with the grouchy medic. And not without reason...

As soon as she disappeared around the corner, Ratchet glared at him. Sitting down across from him, he stared the ex-con down. "We need to talk." he stated, his voice steady but almost dripping with hate.

"I don't really feel like talking right now..." he squeaked pathetically.

The medic growled. He undid the restraints the berth and dragged Starscream to his feet. "To bad!" he pushed him to an operation table and made him sit down.

Starscream grimaced at the rough treatment but didn't say anything. He felt that the medic was as pissed as he could be, and he didn't want to test that theory. So they both remained silent.

Flareup returned quickly. [Here you go.] She handed Ratchet what he had requested and was about to sit down until the medic growled.

"Thank-you Flareup, you may go now."

She looked at him in confusion, glancing at Starscream before slowly going back the way she came. She gave the 'con a sad shrug, and left.

"Do you hate me doctor?" Starscream asked, feeling that he couldn't stand the silence any more.

He nodded. "I didn't use to, but now I can surely say that I do."

"Why, what have I done?"

Ratchet growled again, something incomprehensible under his breath and tweaked something in Starscream's elbow, making him yelp in pain. "I heard what you said to Flareup." he said finally.

"Why would that make you hate me, she was in recharge for crying out loud!" he cradled his elbow gently.

Ratchet slammed his tool onto the table, glaring even fiercer at him. "She's my daughter."

Starscream gaped at him, his optic twitching slightly. "Your _Daughter_?!"

He nodded, not looking at him. "I've lost her to one Decepticon already, I'm not going to lose her to another just so he can break her spark again."

"I swear, I mean her no harm." he said, suddenly understanding why Ratchet was so upset.

He shook his head, looking almost sad. "I already let her get hurt once, I'm not going to stand by and just let you use her. I didn't want her to go back to you, even if you saved her life. But she insisted... She has some liking for you Decepticons, but this is going too far."

"Ratchet, I promise I do not want to hurt her in any way. I-" he tried to ignore the voice in his head, and forced the words to come out. "I love her." The medic may have been angry at him, but he wasn't backing down without a fight.

Ratchet glared at him. "If you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from her."

Starscream stood up, looking the medic in the optic. "You'll have to do better than that to make me stay away from her. I am not going to give up because you tell me to. _I Love Her_. And I intend to tell her so."

Ratchet fumed, and shoved the data pad into his servos. "Then fix yourself. You won't survive long enough to do anything with all the things you can't fix." and he stormed away.

Starscream glared in his direction, and then looked down at the medic's notes. He felt so sick, and now it was even worse. He felt so angry. He wanted to strangle that danged medic, but knowing now that he was Flareup's father, he just couldn't. He swore he wouldn't harm her in any way.

He growled to himself and looked around the med-bay, gathering the things he needed. Looking over the conditions he had, he realized that Ratchet was right. He wouldn't survive without real medical help...

He sighed, and injected a syringe of liquid into his arm, he had a lot of work to do.

* * *

**Mean old Ratchet. But hey, dads will be dads right? :)**

**I admit, this chapter was a little bit rushed, I'm just excited about the next couple of chapters. I've been looking forward to this next part forever! I might come back and edit this chapter later though... Anyways, I'll have another chapter out soon, but not too soon. I'm going to take a little time with this one...maybe. :P**


	16. Chapter 16

"Scrap!" Starscream picked up the fallen test tube that had spilled over the floor. He would have to start over.

He sighed shakily, rubbing his optics. He had only been working an hour but he already felt exhausted. His processor felt clouded and his reactions clumsy. He sat down for a moment to collect himself. The virus was messing with his concentration, the voice kept whispering to him and the knowledge that Ratchet was Flareup's father was just too distracting.

He closed his optics, feeling another spell of sickness overcoming him. He groaned, pressing a servo to his side. "Oh, Primus, that doesn't feel good..." He knelt down on the ground, feeling a little weak. "Oh...oh boy..." he curled over, holding his side even tighter.

He cringed, with a soft scream. Pain racked his processor and shot like lightning bolts through his body. "Ratchet, you scrap head!" he yelled, wishing he could curse the medic to his face. Medics were supposed to take care of anyone they were entrusted with, regardless of what they felt!

He moaned, finally lying down on the floor, curled up in a ball. The pain was just too much! It roared in his processor, blocking out any other noises.

He closed his optics tightly. Once again he was alone, and this time he was dying. It was like a dark cloud had re-entered his life, this time to claim him for good. Though he could hardly feel it through the agony, optic fluid traced down his face.

[Starscream!] He felt a small servo on his arm and another on his helm. [Ratchet, you aft! Where are you?]

* * *

Starscream onlined his optics slowly. Again, he felt the intense pain at the back I his processor, but the voice he had been expecting to mock him was quiet. In fact, despite the pain he felt immensely better. His mind felt clear and his body stronger. He tried sitting up, but was roughly pushed back down on his back.

He looked around, seeing the Autobot leader standing close by with his arms crossed, keeping a stern gaze on the medic. Ratchet looked upset, but still he worked on several things in the med-bay at once. "Stay down, punk." he grumbled.

[Ratchet!] Flareup snapped at him. [You know none of this would have happened if you'd just done what Optimus told you to in the first place!] She gave him a cold stare.

"I hate to admit it Ratchet, but she's right." The blue femme in the corner spoke up.

"Arcee, stay out of this." Ratchet grumbled.

Optimus tilted his head slightly, giving the medic that meaningful stare. "Just do your job old friend, and then we need to have a talk."

Starscream noted that even the humans were watching them. The three normal to see children stood beside their guardians while the new female stood on the Prime's shoulder. Lyla? Was that her name? He shook his head, he really didn't care.

A soft touch on his shoulder brought his attention back to Flareup. She gave him a smile, but her anger towards the medic was still apparent in her optics. [How are you feeling?] She asked.

He gave her a warm smile. "Good, much better than I have felt in a long time." still no annoying inner voice. His smile widened. "I feel _really_good."

Her expression changed to confusion. [But you almost died! And it's _all his fault_!] She pointed to Ratchet. [Don't you feel, I don't know, angry about it?]

He shook his head slowly. "No, not really... I probably deserved the treatment I received from him. Even if he was being a total aft..." Ratchet injected something else into his system, none too gently. He grimaced, but laughed anyways. "And I thought Megatron was an aft.."

Flareup laughed when Ratchet glared murderously at the 'con. She shook her head, still giggling. [I really start to wonder sometimes if Ratchet could have been a good 'con...]

Starscream shook his head, "No, if he had the material of a Decepticon he would have killed me already."

"I'm about to kill you right now!" Ratchet shouted over his shoulder.

Flareup rolled her optics and sat down beside him. [So when do you think you'll be strong enough to leave?]

He glanced over at the medic, lowering his voice to a whisper. [I could leave now but I highly doubt that will happen. So let's leave it as 'As Soon As Possible'!"

A low beeping noise filled the room, and the yellow scout left to check the monitors. [Energon reading. It's on the move.]

Optimus nodded, "Alright. Arcee, Bulkhead and Flareup, you're with me." he plucked the small human girl from his shoulder and set her down. "Bumblebee, you stay here and make sure there are no...accidents, while we're away." the Scout beeped in affirmation.

* * *

**Okay, short chapter I know. But the next chapter will more than make up for it, it's twice as long as this one (or there about). Anyways... I am sad to say that this story has perhaps ten chapters left at most. I am so excited because this is one of my favorites, but at the same time the thought of it being over makes me sad... **

**Well, please Review! I'll post the next chapter when I edit it. :)**


	17. Chapter 17

"_It seems the Decepticons are transporting Energon in trips. They must have found a deposit that is fairly unreachable otherwise_." Optimus Prime's voice sounded through the computer.

Starscream listened closely to the chatter, leaning against the wall as far away from the medic as possible. Ratchet hadn't said a word to him since the Prime had left, and he counted that as one of his few blessings. The way it looked, he was never going to gain the medic's approval to love his daughter. The more he thought about it the less likely it seemed.

[_Me and my baby can take care of the rear guards_.] Flareup said, and he could almost imagine her fondling that gun of hers.

Ratchet turned on the Seeker, his gaze murderous. "What?!"

Starscream jumped in surprise and quickly started backing away. He realized in an instant how bad that must've sounded to him. The young yellow scout did his best to restrain the medic but to no avail.

The ex-con cowered in front of the medic. "No, no it's not what it sounds like!" he tried to explain, slowly edging farther and farther away from him. Ratchet grabbed him by the shoulders and roughly shoved him against the wall.

"What... Have you been doing... With my daughter?!"

"I said, it's not what it sounds like!" Starscream screeched. "Her gun- she calls her gun her baby! The baby is her gun! I swear I've done nothing wrong!"

Ratchet shoved him away, watching him fall to the ground flat on his back. "You better be telling the truth... Punk Aft Decepticon Scum..." he finally left him be, lying on the ground in a stunned heap.

He groaned when the Scout ran to help him up. He tried to shove the young Autobot away but Bee just simply refused to leave him lying on the floor. By the time he was steady on his feet again, the medic was back in his working space.

"Is he always so quick to snap?"

Bumblebee gave him a sad shrug and went back to the computer, leaving the Seeker to himself again. They both jumped when a deep maniacal laugh sounded from the speakers.

"_Optimus... I see you've found a new member to add to your little fold_."

Starscream could recognize that voice at any point or time. "Megatron." he could feel his Energon boil! He was at the computer in mere seconds. "Where are they?" he asked the scout.

Bumblebee beeped some coordinates in a place called Canada. Starscream took a hasty glance back at Ratchet with set determined optics. "Bridge me to them." He told the younger bot.

[What?!]

He pushed past him to the computer. He punched in the coordinates and pointed to the Scout as he walked to the bridge opening. "Send me there!" he ordered.

Bumblebee looked at Ratchet, who had finally seen what was going on.

"Bumblebee, don't!"

"Please, let me go!" Starscream saw the portal come to life and before the medic could grab him or stop him he ran through it. Bumblebee went after him, avoiding the angry medic's wrath.

The other side was a full blown war zone. Shots were firing in every direction, and he felt a servo pull him back as a shot flew past his head. In the commotion he barely realized that Bumblebee was leading him to cover near the Autobots.

"Bumblebee, what are you-" Optimus paused to fire at an incoming Vehicon. The Decepticon fell without a sound amongst the chaos.

[Figured you could use some backup.]

Starscream ignored the two of them and scanned to battle ground for his femme. And he was horrified to see her in battle with none other than Megatron himself.

She was distancing her self from him as if in a retreat. He followed her through the war zone, a grin creeping onto his face. Starscream realized that the Decepticon leader had found her weakness of close range. Flareup was a sniper, not trained for close range.

He started edging his way around the fight to get closer to the two of them. They were farther away from the fight than anyone else, getting closer and closer to the back wall of the cave. No one saw him and cared, ignoring him to face the greater threat at hand. He saw Megatron catch up with her and raised his arm in preparation to fire. Unfortunately he only had one missile left.

The Decepticon grabbed her by her arm, stopping her in her tracks. She struggled against him, almost falling to the ground in her attempt to escape his clutches. [Help!] She was unheard by anyone on her side, except for one ex-con.

But he lowered his missile. If he shot at Megatron the blast would hit Flareup too.

"Well, well, well..." he stroked Flareup's face with the back of his servo, laughing darkly. "Aren't you a pretty one? I'd hate to waste a femme such as yourself..." he looked her up and down.

Starscream's optic ridges bent down in a V and he growled. "Megatron!"

The Decepticon turned in shock at the familiar voice, and grunted as he was tackled to the ground by his former second in command. They all tumbled to the ground, tripping over each other as the skidded to a stop. Starscream dug his fingers into the larger mechs servo, forcing him to release his grip on Flareup's wrist. She scrambled away from them as Megatron screamed in pain. His tainted Energon dripped from his servo and smeared onto both their armor as he tried to push the Seeker away.

Starscream grabbed the mech's chest armor and stabbed his long fingers down a weak spot. Megatron shouted in pain and slammed the smaller mech to the ground beside him with a swing of his arm.

Starscream hit the rock ground painfully and gasped. He vented slowly, feeling his systems overloading and failing from the sudden impact.

"What do we have here?" Megatron snarled. "Finally crawled to join the Autobot ranks, did you Starscream?" he kicked the Seeker, sending him sprawled against the floor a little farther away. He tried desperately to get up, bracing himself against the wall with one hand. He got up to one knee, only to be knocked down again.

He glared up at the larger mech, pain lacing through his side. He got up to his knees again, this time faster, fueled by his determination to not be weak in front if the Autobots.

Megatron grabbed him by the throat, lifting him into the air. His feet dangled in empty space and he grasped the servo clamped down on him trying to stop the crushing of his neck. He tried to kick the Decepticon leader but he simply blocked it with one hand and pinned him up against the wall.

"You've grown a backbone Starscream... The pathetic Seeker I knew wouldn't have put up much of a fight. What changed you?"

Starscream gasped, scratching Megatron's arm desperately. "I-I-" words couldn't leave him. His throat was being crushed!

Megatron smirked. "What was that? I can't hear you.".

He dug his fingers between his neck and the Decepticon's servo. "I found a reason to live!" he rasped.

He laughed even harder. "Let me guess, the little femme that left you here to die?" Starscream tried not to faint, all Energon was cut off from his processor.

He nodded, "Except for one thing Megatron." he gasped, clenching his optics shut in pain as his grip tightened.

"And what's that?"

[I didn't leave!] Flareup swung her gun to the side of Megatron's head, knocking him unbalanced. He dropped the Seeker and stumbled a safe distance away. [And if you haven't noticed, you've lost Megatron.] She glared at him.

The Decepticon looked around the battle field with a snarl. "Retreat!" he shouted to his troops. "You haven't seen the last of me Starscream, I'll find you and I'll rip both your sparks out..." he smirked, entering the Decepticon ground-bridge.

[Starscream!] As soon as the bigger mech left she ran to his side. She touched his bleeding neck but he waved her away.

"I'll be fine." he choked, rubbing his sore neck and hugging his side.

She hugged him tightly, and he groaned as he started to feel the full extent of damage to his body. He off-lined his optics for a moment when she stroked his dented wing, and he slowly wrapped his good arm around her upper back.

[You saved me...]

He smiled slightly. "I would never let anything bad happen to you Flareup." he stroked her back softly. "I-"

"Flareup!" Ratchet's voice sounded as upset as ever. He pulled her away from Starscream. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. [I'm fine Ratchet. Starscream saved me.] she brushed him off.

Ratchet didn't look at him kindly. But he wasn't glaring at him either. The old medic seemed to be thinking but he turned away quickly.

Optimus stepped up to them and helped Starscream to his feet. "We should not linger here any longer." he lead them to their own ground-bridge.

* * *

**Next Chapter will be up soon! I promise! :)**

**Please Review. :) **


	18. Chapter 18

Starscream touched his neck gingerly as they walked together back in the Harbinger. He noticed Flareup's look of concern and quickly retracted his servo, giving her a weak smile.

"For a moment there I thought I was going to end up with a broken voice box like you and Bumblebee..." he tried for a little humor to ease her worry.

She rolled her optics, her shoulder sliding under his to help support him as they walked. [You could have! You should have been more careful. Ratchet says my voice box will heal with time. If Megatron had crushed your throat I don't think it would be repairable.]

"Losing my voice to save your life would have been worth it." he said quietly.

They were quiet for a time. Flareup continued to support him as they walked the halls but she seemed a little lost in thought.

When they came to his berth room he tried to separate himself from her but she opened the door and stepped in with him. "Flareup-" he eyed the syringe of poison on his desk, thinking desperately of a way to get her to leave before she saw it.

She helped him to his berth and he sat down. "Thank-you...for everything." his optics flickered from lack of energy but she didn't leave. He wanted to groan in frustration but merely looked at her sadly when she took the syringe in her servos.

[What is this?!]

He shut his optics for a moment, feeling his Energon freeze in their veins. With a sigh he rubbed the back of his neck, looking anywhere but directly at her. He tried once to make some excuse but couldn't think of anything that'd fool her. Finally he gave in. "It's poison." he admitted quietly, feeling ashamed.

[Why do you have-?] She started, but he quickly cut her off.

"It's for me." He chanced a glance at her and saw that her look of confusion was replaced with one of horror. Her optics started to fill with lubricants in shock at the revelation. "For a long time," he began, "I was alone in this world. No one cared about me and vise versa. And... I was extremely lonely. I was driven to a dark side of depression."

He left the berth and went to take the syringe from her. He looked at it with uncertainty as he continued. "I started to consider ending my pathetic existence. And, I almost went through with it." he shook his head in disgust. "I was ready to end my life, and I might have if you hadn't crashed that day..."

She covered her agape mouth with a servo in disbelief, speechless didn't even begin to cover it he feared.

"When I pulled you from that wreckage it was as if my life had found a new path to take. And I only stand here today because you convinced me to take that path... Someone needed me again..." he put the syringe back on the table. "But even then I had my doubts about my worth to those in this life."

[Starscream-] she stepped towards him but he waved her off.

"Please, let me finish." he noted her silence and continued. "I started to get to know you, and you me. I started to care again, about what happened to you. I wasn't lying when I said you were my reason to live. My life was filled with darkness, Flareup. But then you brightened up my existence... Like a Solar flare in the darkest night."

The tears that had built up were running down her face now. But she smiled. [Starscream...] she came closer to him.

Her soft pink lips pressed against his and he felt his spark freeze when she pulled away. It was so short, like she hadn't intended to do it and it just happened. Her optics met his and his vocalizer stopped working. He wanted to shout in joy. He wanted to capture her in his arms and never let her go. But he simply stood there speechless.

Her optics searched his, and something in their fiery depths seemed to come forth in a wave of passion. She took his face between both her servos and stole his lips again. He pulled her closer by the waist and kissed her back. His optics shut as he stroked her face, from her jaw to her shoulder and down her back to her winglets. He played there, digging his fingertips into her backstruts until she gave him a soft moan in reaction.

He broke their heated kiss and trailed his lips down her neck. "Flareup, I love you. I will die if I don't know if you feel the same." he pulled her tighter against him, biting softly on her neck cables.

She wrapped her arms around him tightly. [I do feel the same. I love you.] She closed her optics and they simply stood there in silence for a moment, resting in each other's embrace.

"I want you to be my Sparkmate, Flareup… I need you in my life every moment of every day." he whispered, shuttering slightly when she fingered his insignia, the door to his spark.

[I would like to see it first...] she looked down at his chest, as if trying to see past the armor to his spark chamber.

Starscream cringed. She wanted to search his spark. She wanted to know everything about him before she made any sort of decision. He didn't want to let her search his spark, he was afraid that if she knew some things about him she would never wish to see him again. "You will not like what you find." he warned.

She looked back up at him. [I want to see it.] She insisted.

He tried to hide the fear in his optics. Refusing her would be almost as bad as letting her. "Just-" he stepped back and pulled his spark chamber open manually. "-promise me you won't think of me differently." he pleaded.

She came close to him again, pecking his lips as she stroked a finger down the side of his spark chamber. [I promise.]

She looked down at his exposed spark and instantly her expression saddened, not in disappointment but in pity. She stroked the glowing orb with her fingers, sending electric chills down his spine and continued the touch for a few moments before digging deeper.

He let a shocked scream escape him as the sudden pain rushed through him. Memories of his past slipped through his processor, their sadness and grief renewed once again. His family. His trine brothers. Megatron. Beatings. Loss. And so much pain! The farther she searched the more of his suppressed memories came back to light. His optics involuntarily filled with liquid. It hurt so bad! It was like fire in his Energon!

He tried to hold back his screams but recent failures and consequences started coming into light. Megatron's painful beatings and torture started coming back in full blow. He clenched his optics shut, trying to block out the memories. _No, not those!_He had been brutal. And he never stopped. He would use anything he could to make the Seeker scream in agony, until he was forced into recharge due to injuries sustained. And he would bring him back to life just to do it all over again...

He was starting to feel weak at the knees when she finally stopped. She pulled her servo from his chest and looked up at him. Her optics were just as pained as his. [Starscream...] she shook her head, trembling. [I-I had no idea...I-] she couldn't meet his optics after that.

"You said you wouldn't think of me differently!" he wiped tears away from his face, the pain still lingering.

[How-How could you survive through all that? He-your life-It's all so brutal! How could you keep yourself together?! I understand why you would contemplate suicide-I just-]

He wrapped his arms around her and quickly captured her lips to stop the flow of words. "Flareup, please..." he tried to beg her not to ask any more.

She was shaking terribly from searching through his emotions and partial memories. But she returned his hug. [Yes Starscream.] She whispered into his ear. [Starscream, I'll be your Sparkmate...]

He couldn't help his excited grin, but he did try to keep it down. "You're not just saying that because you pity me are you?" he begged to Primus the answer was no.

She shook her head. [I do pity you Starscream, but I want to be with you because I love you. I think I always have.] She kissed him again. [But there's something you should know about me-]

"I know you can't transform." he stroked her face, looking at her gorgeous optics.

[How did you know?]

He shrugged. "Call it a hunch." he re-captured her lips and touched her exposed spark as she opened it up to him. He pulled her closer and their sparks collided, their energies swirling together. He could _feel_ her. Feel her _being_, her _entire entity_. And she was beautiful!

"I love you Flareup." he gasped as their sparks joined fully.

She trailed kisses down his jaw and planted her lips on his. [I love you too.] She whispered, closing her optics and resting her helm against his chest.

* * *

**So, they are sparkmates now! I hope that is satisfactory for you all :) I wonder just how Ratchet will react to that? I'll have the next chapter out soon. Please leave a review! :)**


	19. Chapter 19

Starscream held Flareup tighter against him, smiling sleepily down at her. Her servo had settled down on his chest and she was snuggled into his side comfortably. She was still in recharge with him on his berth, venting soft breaths against him. She was so peaceful, and he was the luckiest mech in the universe! He doubted anyone was as happy as he was at that moment.

He felt her stir in his arms and loosened his hold, only to tighten it again when she stopped adjusting. He locked optics with her sleepy, flickering, love filled ones. "Hey..." he rubbed her lower back gently.

[Hey...] She smiled at him, pecking his cheek. He kissed her lips before she could pull away, stroking her face carefully. She hummed happily, climbing closer to him to kiss him properly. They stayed locked at the lips, simply savoring the quiet moment between them. When she broke the contact she caressed his scarred neck. [I love you.]

"I love you." he grinned at her, making her laugh. She gave him a little nip at his thumb that played across her face and he pulled it away. "Hey now, I was just freed from one tormentor, don't you start." she smiled slyly and he kissed her again. "I really do love you Flareup... I always will."

She vented slowly. [I just wish we could have gotten Ratchet's approval.]

He copied her sigh and held her closer to him. "We will get his approval. I'll earn it. But there's not much he could do about us now if he never approves." her smile softened when he kissed her helm. "I will make him see that I love you, no matter what it takes."

[Should we tell them, about us being Sparkmates and all that? I have to go in to report to Optimus if you want me just to get it over with.]

He shook his head quickly. "No, I want to be there when we tell them. I just don't think right now is the best time."

She nodded in agreement. [I suppose there's no harm in waiting for a little while.] She said, getting up from the berth.

He felt the cold air against him as her warm body left and sighed. "Do you have to go right now?" he looked pleadingly at her but she just laughed and kissed his cheek.

[I promise, I'll be back before you know it. You won't even notice I'm gone.]

He watched her leave the room and rubbed his sore neck. They had taken things fairly gentle through the night but he could feel the wear on his body taking its toll. He sat up slowly with a soft groan. His side, neck and back burned like fire, but he stood up.

He limped over to his desk and picked up the syringe of poison. It was cold in his servo, like death itself. He listened carefully for the Autobot portal to disappear before venturing out into the hall, and he activated his own ground-bridge.

Stepping through it he emerged in the Antarctic. Around him the cold bit at his wounds, almost freezing his exposed Energon on contact. Like when he was stuck there before mere months ago, with the Prime, he found himself hating the cold. But he walked forward into the cold and ice.

In the night, after Flareup had fallen into recharge he had promised himself something. He had promised that he would get rid of the poison that was corrupting him and focus his time and thoughts on his Sparkmate. No longer would he be tempted with thoughts of suicide. He would continue living by sheer force. He would live for Flareup.

He didn't know what to do first with his new life. As he walked through the snow he tried to think about what he could do. The waters where he planned to dump the poison was a little ways away, so he had time to think. What would Flareup want him to do?

When he considered it he realized his best option would be to surrender himself to the Autobots and beg that they let him change sides. The idea wasn't pleasant by any means, but he figured it was the best thing he could do to get on Flareup's crazy father's good side.

He felt nervous just thinking about it. How would the medic react to his just taking Flareup without permission? Granted she was completely into it herself but, how could he tell him that to his face? It wasn't going to be easy...

He vented slowly and stopped by the cliff edge, looking over the cold blue waters. He let his gaze drift over the scene before turning his attention to the syringe. He held it over the edge. "Be gone..." he dropped it.

He watched it fall, shattering into shards and droplets on the ice before disappearing into the cold depths.

"It is done." he mumbled to himself with a smile, turning back around from the cliff.

He felt great, like a million pound weight was taken off of his shoulders. He was free now. He was free of his own torturous thinking, to do as he pleased...

* * *

**Well, back to the shorter chapters. But I am already starting the next chapter! :) **

**Leave a Review, Send a PM. Thanks for reading and good night! :)**


	20. Chapter 20

The first thing he heard upon re-entering the Harbinger was a shrill cry! He jumped in surprise and darted down the hall. "Flareup?"

He rounded a corner, almost slipping in his haste. He shouted her name again when he heard her shriek. He followed the sound to his room. And what he saw made him want to tear his own spark out! Flareup was kneeling on the floor with her face buried in her servos. Energon was everywhere, pouring from her optics! She was shaking, shivering, and shrieking. She was crying horribly, it looked like she had died inside. She sounded so pained.

"Flareup!" he knelt down beside her and wrapped his arms around her. "Flareup, what's wrong?!"

She twisted around to look him in the optics. [S-Starscream!?] She held his face between her servos and looked at him. [Starscream?!] Her fiery optics bore into him with a mixture of anger and worry. [You aft!] She hit his chest. [_You Aft_! Dang you...] her temporary voice box crackled and she slapped his chest again.

"Flareup what happened? What's wrong?" he felt his spark constrict with worry when she pushed him away. She stood up unsteadily and leaned against the wall. He tried to go near her but she turned and shoved him away again!

[I-I thought-] tears refused to stop falling. [I-I came back here-and you-and the poison-] she covered her face with her servos. [-you were gone!] She was shaking even worse now. He grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her into a hug, just so he was sure she wouldn't hurt herself! She cried against him, stuttering her story. [I thought you had-that you were dead! I couldn't find you, I-]

He stroked her back comfortingly, hushing her. "Hey, it's okay... You're alright." he whispered to her, his fingers brushing lightly over her audio receptors. "I'm right here..."

[Dang you...]

He kissed the tears away from her face. "I know, just calm down." he rocked her side to side, letting her cry her spark out to him. And soon her cries turned to soft whimpers.

When he was sure she had calmed reasonably, he talked to her in a gentle tone. "I went to the Antarctic. I took the poison to dispose of it..." he paused when she shook again. "I'm sorry I made you worry, I didn't think you'd be back so soon. "

[Don't scare me like that ever again.]

He hugged her tighter. "I won't." when her spark stopped throbbing through their connection he let go of her and had her sit down. He grabbed an Energon cube (one of the last that he had) and gave it to her to eat.

"So, I was thinking..." he started, not sure exactly what to say. Her focus was in him as she nibbled at the cube. "I was considering that offer Prime made me when I rescued you." her expression brightened. "And I was thinking that maybe, just perhaps in the near future, I might accept."

She gaped at him. [Are you sure?] He nodded slowly, not prepared for the body crushing tackle he received. She hugged him on the ground, feathering kisses over his face. [Starscream, you have no idea what this means to me!] she snuggled next to him on the cold floor. He found the situation odd but she didn't seem to mind. [This will make my dad situation a lot easier.]

He nodded. "Yes, I thought it might." he admitted, but she just kissed him again.

* * *

Starscream walked amongst the pines, feeling very uncomfortable. The Prime had been more then willing to talk with him one on one, but when they stood together the Seeker felt very small and was starting to reconsider his decision. Flareup had urged him to talk with Optimus as soon as possible, so as soon as she fell asleep that night he had made contact.

He glanced up at the bigger mech and took a shallow intake. He was definitely regretting his choice by now. He was glad for the Prime's knowing silence. It gave him time to collect his own thoughts.

"Optimus, we have had our differences and arguments in the past..." he started but then ended the thought prematurely.

"Please, speak your mind." Optimus encouraged him.

He vented, picking up where he left off. "I have done things that I am not particularly proud of and I know there is no way I can make up for it completely. I have hurt a lot of people, the Autobots more than anyone else. And I'm..." he paused, the phrase almost dying in his mouth, "I'm sorry."

He shut his optics for a moment before continuing. "You owe me nothing, but I must ask you about your offer to join the Autobots. Does that offer still stand?"

The Prime looked at him a little surprised but nodded. "Yes, of course. Every being deserves a chance for redemption. We would gladly take you in."

He glanced up at the Prime with a slight nod to himself. "Well, I have been considering it greatly and I think I may accept. My life is different now, I need to make some choices that I don't really want to make. I don't want to join but I know I should…if that makes any sense…"

"Take your time Starscream. No one is rushing you to make a choice. Perhaps for a start you could align with our cause." He crossed his arms, looking down at the Seeker. "You could help us with some of your Decepticon knowledge, in return I can assure you that Arcee and Ratchet won't kill you."

He nodded slowly. "That sounds pretty good Prime…" he confessed. "I will think about it. Thank-you…" He looked past the Leader of the Autobots to the Harbinger. "But, I believe I should be turning in for the night."

Optimus Prime nodded, a small smile creeping onto his face. (If Starscream didn't know better he would have called it a smirk). "I suppose if your _Sparkmate_ knew you were gone she would be quite upset wouldn't she?" he raised an optic ridge. Starscream froze, horrified. The Prime actually laughed. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. You're just lucky I asked Ratchet to pick Lyla up for school this morning. He would've figured it out a lot faster than I did." He patted the Seeker on the shoulder, and left.

* * *

**Don't have much to say about this one... Except I spent all night writing it while eating a bag of skittles... Please Review :)**


	21. Chapter 21

He was adrift in space. He twisted in his sleep, he knew how this dream would play out. He would be stranded in the middle of no where all alone and he would slowly rot away over centuries of wandering.

He grimaced, groaning in frustration. He hated this dream! It always made him feel like in the end he would die alone... "No..." he gripped the berth as fear started to grip him. He knew he was dreaming, just between the state of recharge and awake. He whimpered pathetically, feeling his body go ridged. He tried to wake himself, but no matter how much he tried to he couldn't escape the crushing weight of space.

[Starscream...] he felt Flareup squeeze his servo and she came closer to him. He held onto her tightly, keeping her trapped in his arms. [Starscream, it's okay... I'm right here, I'm not going to leave you.]

Finally, he yanked himself out of his waking dreams. "H-how do I-How am I supposed to know that?" he held her against his chest, burying his face into her neck.

She stroked his wings slowly, sending electric chills down his spine. [I'm not going to leave you, ever. I may go away for little whiles, but I will never leave you. I promise...] she kissed his cheek.

A pair of red eyes flashed through his processor. A cruel laugh mocked him when he flinched. Those cursed words repeated over and over. _"You haven't seen the last of me Starscream, I'll find you and I'll rip both your sparks out..."_

[Star, are you afraid?] her touch was honest and gentle.

He willed his optics not to leak, but as usual nothing listened to him. "I'm afraid I'm going to lose you to Megatron. He doesn't make idle threats..." he winced, "I would know."

She vented and kissed him. [You would know... But you should also know that you are in shock from a nightmare...] she made him chuckle. [Look, everything's fine. You're just a little upset. And that was nearly two weeks ago. I don't see why you're bringing it up now...] she cuddled him. [Just go back to sleep.]

He breathed her in, shaking his head. "I don't want to, being awake is so much better. I can see your smile when I'm awake."

[You can see me in your dreams too... Go to sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up, and Megatron can't do anything about that.] she pecked his lips, stroking a finger down his wing as he lay back down.

"You better be." he looked her in the optics, pointing at her. "If I wake up and you're not here, I swear I will hunt you down and glue you here!"

She smiled. [I'm sure you would...My crazy mech.]

* * *

Starscream rolled over, his servo searching the cold for Flareup. His fingertips crawled to the opposite side of the berth before he finally on-lined his optics. He sat up, scanning the room. "Flareup?"

She jumped him almost out of nowhere, tackling him back onto the berth. She laughed at his shocked yelp and kissed him quickly before he could stutter how surprising him wasn't funny. He rolled his optics._ I suppose I should know better by now._

She jumped up to her feet again, and dragged him up with her. [Come on, we're going Energon scouting with Bumblebee and Arcee today. Get up!]

"Oh joy..." he grumbled, looking at her pleadingly. "Do we have to go?"

She propped her servos on her hips, giving him a look of mock sternness. [Well, you were the one who said we should so yes, we do have to go.] she gave him a smile and tugged him out the door. [Come on, you said you'd talk to Ratchet today. We can only put this off for so long you know.]

He grabbed the remote control to his ground-bridge. "Or we could keep it a secret until he dies." he suggested, earned a smack to his shoulder. He gave her a helpless shrug, honestly he was still extremely nervous. He just didn't think then was the best time to tell the grouchy medic.

[You can wait a little longer if you need to.] she practically read his mind. He vented in relief. [Let's just go have fun looking around dark places with Arcee and Bee.]

He grimaced at the thought. "Sure, let's go some place quiet and secluded with the two bots that hate me the most. Sounds like a fantastic idea!" try though he might to be sarcastic, he couldn't help but smile. Flareup had taught him to just accept the fact that he wasn't going to like being an Autobot. But secretly he was liking it, he admitted he liked it every time she said how happy she was and that was worth the constant torture.

His smile widened when he chased his femme through the ground-bridge. He couldn't believe he had stayed under the rule of Megatron so long. If he had known life could be this good he would've walked up to Megatron, spat in his face and quit a long time ago!

* * *

**Sorry if there are mistakes in spelling or typos, I've been writing on my iPod a lot so sometimes it messes me up.**

**Sighs tiredly and looks at clock. I keep thinking it should be a lot later then it really is. Oh well, Leave a Review please. :)**


	22. Chapter 22

The cave was relatively small but it was loaded! Floor to ceiling, Energon crystals glowed bright blue around them.

"Jackpot, and it looks like the Decepticons haven't found this one yet." Arcee scanned the crystals. "They're perfect quality too."

Starscream wandered around the formations, giving the others some space. He scraped a sharp claw over the Energon, letting the screeching sound fill his audio receptors. He felt a little awkward around them. They stuck together like a bunch of pals, and he just didn't fit in.

The cave was dark and damp. Little waterfalls trickled down from the ceiling, splashing his armor with diamond-like droplets. He vented slowly and turned down a small passageway. The walls scratched his wings from the tight squeeze but he hardly felt it.

The cave was very oddly shaped. He scrutinized the caverns and passage ways. And the more he looked the more he saw that it looked too box-like to be a natural cave. He hummed suspiciously to himself, running his servo over the walls. It didn't feel like rock. It crumbled and chipped, and had the over all look of...

"Rust..." He scanned the room, looking over the walls that he now realized looked a lot like computer screens. "It's a ship..." he followed the halls to a place a little clearer of Energon. It looked like it had crash landed.

He forced a rusted door to slid open, with a strained huff. The room was dark and cold, but clear of crystals. The rust was only in the corners of the room, and the computers seemed to be in operating condition.

He stepped to the console and typed in a code to turn it on. The machine buzzed and the screen flickered blue. The image was half fuzzed out, but the message was clear enough. It was an old Decepticon code. It said something to the extent of a shipment of Energon on its way to Cybertron.

After reading over a few mangled paragraphs he froze, his spark stopping dead. "I know this message..." he breathed. He felt his spark break all over again, tears starting to collect in his optics.

"It can't be!" he darted from the room and almost tripped in his hurry to go down the hall. His feet followed on their own accord, traveling the familiar paths that he had walked so many times.

As he continued further into the ship the rust disappeared and so did the Energon. The silver and purple walls flew by as he ran to the control room.

He pried open the door, bursting into the command center. His systems were overheating, and his vision was blurry but he was still able to see the two figures slumped together on the command chair.

"No!" he stared at them, feeling himself die inside all over again. "No!"

* * *

[Starscream?!]

He heard them come into the room, but he couldn't look up at them. His optics were stuck on the only two whose sparks weren't beating anymore. He knelt on the ground in front of them, tears pouring down his face. "I thought I'd never see you again..." he whispered to their lifeless forms.

He felt Flareup's servo on his shoulder as she knelt down beside him. [Who are they? They look just like you...]

He bit down on his lip, hard, forcing himself not to whimper as he answered. "They're my trine-mates... My brothers..." he looked down at the floor, finally tearing his gaze away from them. "I never knew-I knew they were gone-I didn't know how, or where-" he fell apart in front of them all, but he didn't care. His brothers whom he had lost so long ago had crash landed on this planet. And he had finally found them.

[Starscream...] she hugged him tightly. [Are you okay?]

He wanted to shout that he wasn't. He wanted to scream for them all to leave him alone with his trine. But he vented shakily, and just shook his head. "No, I'm dying..."

He could feel her concern for him through their spark link and he knew she could feel his pain. But whatever she was feeling from him was nothing compared to his pain in full.

He stood up slowly and approached his brothers. Their optics were dark but their bodies were not rusted over. They looked like they could have been sleeping...

He reached out to them and grasped both their servos in his own. His spark throbbed at the touch, and he looked up in surprise. His processor raced to identify the feeling. He hadn't felt the presence of his brothers in such a long time but he still remembered the feeling of their connection. He moved his servos to their matching Decepticon insignias and felt the pulse come even stronger.

"It can't be..." he smiled, his tears becoming those of joy. They were alive! His brothers' sparks were still functioning! They were in stasis lock! "They're alive!"

He came closer to his spark brothers, reaching out to them through their connection. _"Skywarp, Thundercracker, I'm here_..." he could feel their sparks jump to alertness at the presence of his. "_I will take care of you_."

He turned to the Autobots, standing taller and stronger then he had in a long time. "Tell Ratchet to bridge us back, and have the med bay ready."

It seemed no one had the spark to argue with him.

* * *

**Tadaaa! I was going to leave it as a cliff-hanger when he just entered the room, but then I realized that the chapter would have been way too short. :) leave a review! :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**This one is kind of short. Sorry about that**.

* * *

Starscream stood at the edge of the berths, staying just out of the way so Ratchet could work but close enough to watch over his brothers. They were plugged to life support, a poor system compared to the Decepticon's med bay equipment, but it seemed to work fine.

He crossed his arms, watching the medic, out of concern but more to be sure that the mech wouldn't try anything funny. He wasn't the only spectator however. Optimus Prime and Flareup stood nearby, and the four humans were there as well.

"It looks like two more Starscreams!" Miko said from on top of the platform, leaning over the railing. "That is so cool-"

"-And creepy..." Raf interjected. The boy seemed to remember well what the Seeker had done to his young guardian.

Starscream tried to ignore the chatter, scowling at the ground. He felt small servos on his arm and looked at his Sparkmate. She gave him an encouraging smile and held onto him with a tight hug.

[You should talk to him.] She gestured to the medic. [You look like you're about to murder somebody. Ratchet might be a little more willing to like you if he knows you have emotions other then hate.] She whispered into his audio receptors.

He vented deeply and forced himself to stop scowling. She was right, there was no need for anger or thoughts of revenge. He didn't even have someone to blame for the condition of his trine mates.

He stepped forward, closer to the medic and his patients. "Ratchet?"

"What." his voice was so flat it was barely a question. He glared at the Seeker from the corner of his optics, but otherwise kept working.

Starscream bit his glossa to keep from snapping at him. He looked back at Flareup, who laughed quietly and gestured for him to keep trying.

"H-how are they?" he leaned against one of the medical berths.

The doctor sighed, giving in. "They're stable. Their Energon levels are rising slowly and their frames seem to be intact."

"Will they wake up soon?" he couldn't keep his anxiety out of his voice and the medic obviously heard it. They were both silent for a while, listening to the beeping of the medic's instruments.

Starscream expected Ratchet was thinking of some way to verbally abuse him again and say that he wouldn't care if the Seekers all died, but those were not the words that left his mouth. "They'll be fine. If they steadily get better like they are they should regain consciousness in a few weeks."

His reassuring words caught him by surprise and he felt his vocalizer work before his processor could keep up. "Thank-you." Ratchet nodded curtly, turning to leave. "Ratchet, I need to tell you something."

The older mech glanced back at him curiously, making the younger's spark freeze. Starscream stumbled over his own glossa. "A while ago, I told you that I loved Flareup..." the medic stiffened. "I still do, my feelings for her have only grown since we last spoke. Ratchet, I'm begging you to accept me so that I can truly be with her."

He growled. "Get out of here." and he stomped off to a storage area.

When he returned to Flareup she gave his hand a squeeze. [Hey, at least you talked to him. I know this is hard for you to do, it will just take some time.] She got up on her tip toes and pecked his lips. He off-lined his optics, purring with pleasure. [Come on, let's go find my room. We've both had a long day.] She trailed her fingers down his chest and started walking away.

He watched her for a second, as she reached the hall to the berthrooms she turned and gave him a sly kitty meow. He started breathing a little faster, his cooling system kicking in. He chased after her, sweeping her up on his arms. Squealing, she held onto him tightly. He spun her around in a circle and placed her back on her feet, trapping her between him and the wall with his arms on either side of her.

He mirrored her smile, bending forward slowly to nibble at her neck. "I love you." he ran one servo down her back to her winglets.

She laughed, but shoved him back. [Don't be doing that out here! Someone could see...] She glanced back up the hall to where her father had disappeared.

He growled in her audio receptors, pecking them lightly. "Let them see. I have nothing to be ashamed of." he pulled her closer to him, stroking the tips of her winglets. She purred happily, leaning into his chest. But she soon grabbed his wrist and pulled him down the hall.

[This way, lover boy.]

* * *

**So, next chapter we might see some surprises, I personally can't wait to write it, but it'll have to wait for a little while (as in a few hours :p) Lol, I'll have it out soon I promise. Please Review, or PM (I love those just as much as Reviews :) **


	24. Chapter 24

Flareup stiffened, her breathing becoming irregular.

Starscream on-lines his optics, looking down at her in concern. "You okay Flare?" He adjusted so he could see her better.

She smiled slightly, but it turned to a grimace in seconds. She banged her helm against his chest softly, groaning in frustration. He tightened his grip on her protectively, fearing the worst. But she vented and looked back up at him, a little more assuringly. [I'm fine, I just don't feel good. Maybe I had a bad ration of Energon...]

"That doesn't sound fine at all." he said bluntly, sitting up. "Maybe you should tell Ratchet."

She shook her head stubbornly. [No, he'd blow it way out of proportion. You know how crazy he is. He'll think I'm sparked or something. I can tell he knows something is up. He's just waiting for something he can use to accuse you of anything.] she tried to push him back down, but he scooped her up with him instead and propped his back against the wall. She vented, rolling her optics, but it turned to a small groan of pain.

He stroked her side softly. "I still think you need to at least take it easy. You never know... I once thought I had just an ache in my processor but I actually had damaged wires and could have had permanent damage to my central processing unit."

She poked a spot on his helm. [I'm not sure you avoided all permanent damage.]

He scowled when she laughed. "How many times do I have to say, poking fun at my past isn't funny? That was a really horrible time for me, and you know it."

She nodded somberly in understanding, but smiled again as she leaned forward to kiss him. He accepted the motion gladly, but wasn't fooled by her misdirection. "You still need to get a check up."

She growled in frustration and turned away from him, crossing her arms defiantly.

"It's for your own good!" he slipped his arm around her before she could walk away.

[It's awkward, okay?] she finally spilled what was bothering her. [It's one thing to have some person you don't know well, probing you in places you don't like, to find what's wrong with you. But it's another thing to have family do it. How would you like to have me perform an examination of your reproductive parts, hmm?] she raised an optic ridge at him. [You wouldn't like that, would you?! Getting up all inside you, diagraming you and running a bunch of tests! That's not fun!] she glared at him.

Starscream suddenly remembered why upsetting a femme was a bad idea. Flareup looked just about ready to kick him in the nether regions again, this time on purpose. He reached out and took one of her servos in his own, calmly pulling her back to him. He hugged her gently, stroking her back struts. "What's wrong Flareup? You've never snapped like this before..." he tried to talk softly but it sounded a little too timid even to him.

She pulled away. [I'm sorry.] He tried to grab her before she could leave but she was practically running. [I just need to collect myself.]

He watched her leave, his spark feeling hallow. "If she starts crying Ratchet is going to kill me..."

* * *

"-And she just left!"

The small human on Optimus Prime's shoulder thought over what he had told her and pointed at him repetitively. "No woman likes getting a check up, no matter how small. It sounds like she's just having a mood though. What do you think Prime?" she looked up at the Autobot leader.

Optimus shrugged. "I don't know anything about femmes..." he said in a flat tone as they walked through the canyons.

Starscream chuckled as Lyla threw her backpack against his head. "That's why you're supposed to be taking notes!" her tone was scolding but her smile betrayed her emotions. _Even earth femmes are weird._

"So what exactly are we doing out here?" he looked up at the Prime and was a little surprised to see him actually smiling.

"We are visiting some of Earth's greatest wonders. This one being the Grand Canyon." he answered plainly, as if it was the most obvious thing ever. "I thought you might enjoy a little retreat from your current concerns."

The Seeker looked around at the formations around him. It didn't seem like a thing he would call a 'wonder' but he did see the uniqueness of it all. The vast amount of colors in the cliffs was truly interesting enough, but he missed what made it an attraction to humans. It was dry and the sun was starting to make his cooling system kick on.

"Prime, what am I going to do about Ratchet?" he stopped, looking down at the ground. "He hates me, I don't know what to do to make him see the truth about me and Flareup."

The taller mech vented deeply before answering. "Honestly Starscream, I haven't the slightest idea... I think that you might be best off just telling him flat out what is going on. He may try to murder you at first, but I'm sure he'll get over the shock quickly and see that you two are truly good for one another." he paused, his optics wandering aimlessly. "He doesn't hate you, he is just very protective about his family. Do you even know what happened to Flareup when she was a Decepticon?"

Starscream thought about it, realizing that he hardly knew anything about her past. She was so into the moment all the time it was hard to find a time to ask about what made her into who she was. "I never found out exactly what, Ratchet said she had fallen for a Decepticon and he had hurt her, but he didn't say anything else."

Optimus nodded. "His name was Blackout. The two of them had met in the later years of the war, when things had calmed down a bit. They grew up together, and she fell for him. After the war started getting violent again, they were separated, and he changed. But-"

"She didn't know." Starscream finished for him.

"Precisely, and they met up again in the middle of battle. And in the aftermath she left us to go with him, thinking that he was the same mech she had fallen for, but he wanted nothing but to use her. In the end when she refused to give herself to him he tried to take her by force, but she ended up killing him to defend herself.

"It was years before we heard anything from her. When we finally came back into contact with her she left the Decepticons, coming to us broken sparked and emotionally shattered. It was the worst thing Ratchet had ever seen. Right then and there he swore he would never let anyone hurt his daughter again."

Starscream took that in silently. Flareup had been through a lot more then he had thought. And the medic had a lot of reason to distrust him. He vented slowly, "I never would have expected that. She seems so carefree all the time."

The human spoke up this time. "It's because she loves you. She tells me that all the time."

He looked at Lyla, curiously. "What else does she tell you fleshling?"

She seemed to ignore the name that most would have seen offensive and just answered."We talk a lot, but she's always saying that you make her happy..." she gave him a look of payback. "And you make funny noises when you-"

Starscream tried to not hear that last part, but Optimus just chuckled. "Well, what does Ratchet say about me?" He tried to change the subject.

The girl exchanged glances with the Prime before answering. "With all profanity filtered? '_Starscream better not mess with my daughter or I will cut his special insides out_'." She laughed a little. "He's kind of funny sometimes when he says it though."

He felt his Energon run a little cold. How was he ever going to face the medic? "You know, I came with you to try and get a little reassurance that I wouldn't be painfully ripped apart by Ratchet."

Optimus patted him on the shoulder. "You will be fine." the two of them continues on without him. Lyla pointed things out and soon they left his sight.

He sat on the edge of the cliff, listening to the wind, and feeling it push against him. Closing his eyes, he tried to imagine that he was flying. Thinking was a lot easier when he was flying.

Starscream's com crackled. [Starscream? Where are you?] Flareup's voice was more than welcoming to him at that moment.

"I went for a walk, what's wrong?" he didn't know what she was feeling. Through their spark connection he felt a mixture of pain, worry, and excitement.

[You need to come back.] there was a loud bang in the background, and he heard Ratchet shouting. [Starscream, I took your advice and I went for a check up. Ratchet found out. He knows about us...]

"How'd he figure it out?"

He heard her vent shakily. [...Starscream... I'm sparked.]

* * *

**Please leave a review :)**


	25. Chapter 25

Starscream bolted into the base as the portal swirled to life in front of him. He saw Flareup by the controls and ran to embrace her. "Flareup!" he just couldn't think properly. He was so ecstatic! "Flareup, are you okay? Tell me exactly what happened!" he held her against his chest, feathering kisses over her face.

[I'm fine...] she shuddered slightly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders tightly. Tears were falling from her optics, trailing down his armor. [I'm fine, it's just... I'm sparked! I can't believe it!] she cried against him, but she sounded overjoyed. [I never thought this could ever happen...] she shook her head. [I'm going to be a mom.]

Starscream looked at her, tears forming in his own optics. She was so happy-goodness, he was happy! He couldn't believe it! He was going to be a father! "Oh Flareup, I love you." He held her tightly and kisses her.

There was a moment filled with silence, where they could simply take in the news together in each other's arms. But that silence didn't last near long enough.

"You Aft!" something whistled through the air and hit Starscream's helm. He shrieked and stumbled away from his Sparkmate, a servo covering just above his optic.

Ratchet approached slowly, a look on his face that he swore would have made even Megatron quiver. He gripped a wrench in one servo and three other tools in the other.

"You cowardly little aft!" he threw his wrench at the frightened Seeker, just barely missing his face.

"Woah! Wait, Ratchet I can explain!" he ducked another projectile and ran into the med-bay. "I-uh-" he retreated to the other side of a berth, putting something between them.

"You-Sparked-My-Daughter!" finally his makeshift weapon hit it's target. Starscream yelped and ran farther away.

"We're sparkmates! I didn't do anything wrong!" he grabbed a tray, and held it up like a mini shield. Every couple of seconds there was a clang against it as the medic found more things to throw. "And I tried to tell you!"

Ratchet snarled, finally tackling the Seeker to the ground! They tumbled out of the med-bay back into the larger area, Ratchet having one servo clamped tightly around Starscream's neck.

[Dad!] Flareup looked at them in surprise, coming forward to pry them away from each other. A useless feat. [Bumblebee, get in here and help me!]

Starscream hadn't noticed the young Scout shocked in place by the door to the room. But he was thankful when the young mech came between him and his attacker and pushed Ratchet away.

He coughed, splattering a little Energon on the ground. He noted that Bee was having a hard time keeping the mech back and quickly pushed himself to his feet.

"I haven't done anything to you! Why do you hate me like this? Why can't you just accept that we are together?! I swore to you that I meant her no harm, I tried to get you to like me by joining the Autobots- which I really didn't want to do- and you still treat me like scrap! What is your problem?!" he doubled over, coughing a little harder. Flareup grabbed his shoulder to support him.

[Dad, look at what you're doing!] she glared at him. [His throat hasn't healed up completely from when he saved me from Megatron! You could hurt him worse!]

The medic just glared at Starscream. "That's kind of the idea..." he growled.

Starscream coughed shrilly, and she stroked the back of his wings comfortingly. [Ratchet-Dad-] her optics were emptying her tears. The combination of that and the use of 'dad' seemed to finally get his attention. [Dad, please! Why can't you trust me?]

He looked down at the floor. "Honey, I know Starscream. This is going to be Blackout all over again but worse."

[No it won't!] her voice raised to a screech.

"And how do you know that?"

She stalled. She actually stalled! Starscream looked up at her, his spark hurting. How could she rethink his devotion to her? How could she actually consider that he was playing her? He felt a little betrayed, but then he realized perhaps she wasn't questioning him as much as she was questioning herself.

He stood again, pulling her to his side. "If I wanted to hurt her, I would've done it a long time ago." he rasped, his throat burning like fire. "All because one stupid aft tried to hurt her, doesn't mean I will make the same mistake." he gave the medic a pleading look. "I wish you'd just give us a chance..."

Flareup snuggled into his side more comfortably, silently loving her partner for saying something when she couldn't, and Ratchet's glare softened. Bumblebee, whom everyone seemed to forget was present, slowly released Ratchet from his death grip.

"I suppose I have been a slight bit too quick to judge... Perhaps your intentions are true." he stepped up, getting in the Seeker's face. "You hurt her, and I will end you!"

He paused before leaving. "One more thing-" Starscream shouted in surprise when the mech's servo impacted on his face. "-_That's_ for sparkmating with my daughter without asking permission first!"

* * *

"That didn't go half as bad as I though it would." Starscream mused, putting up a few medications the medic had prescribed to him on the desk in his room. The darker walls of the Harbinger welcomed him home and he felt more at ease.

[But it could have gone better...]

He vented slowly. "I know." Turning back to her, he saw her already on the berth waiting for him. He looked her over, she was so beautiful. And to make things a hundred times better, she was sparked!

He smiled, crawling onto the berth so that he hovered over her. She giggled mischievously and kissed him. " My two beautiful babes..." he mumbled, trailing a line with his fingers down to her mid section. He caressed the section and he could practically feel her opticroll.

[Actually, even if you're not counting me, you're a few numbers off.] she placed a servo over his and kissed him again.

"What?" he looked down at her stomach area, his optic ridges furrowing in confusion. "How many are in there?"

Her smile widened. [Triplets.]

He felt like his spark was caught in his aching throat. "Tr- Triplets?!"

[We're having Seekers Starscrem!] he could tell she was doing all in her power to stay calm.

He felt a little dizzy at the news. "That's going to be a lot of work... I know personally, Seekers are a handful..." his arms wobbled slightly and he edged slowly to one side of her. "I think I need to lay down."

* * *

**Wow, a little too much information to take at once, huh Starscream? I love messing with him, and still more shocks and surprises to come. Watch out Screamer! ;) **

**Leave a Review please! :)**


	26. Chapter 26

[Starscream, I'm _Fine_!]

He took the crate away from her anyways. "You need to relax, Flareup. I don't want anything to happen to you or the sparklings!" he pushed the crate into its spot on the top shelf, looking at her sternly.

[Starscream, two weeks ago you didn't even know I was sparked! Calm down!] she shoved him away and picked up another box, which he promptly took away from her. She fumed at him. [Starscream stop!] she snatched it back and glared at him. [I'm perfectly able to do things myself!]

He pulled her away from the stack of boxes Ratchet had told them to put up and grabbed the one in her servos back. "I don't think you should strain yourself." he glanced down at where her carrying chamber was located worriedly.

She gripped his chin in one servo and forced him to look back up into her optics. [Star, stop freaking out! I'm not even showing yet! You're going completely bonkers over nothing!] She took the box again.

His optics narrowed at her. "Nothing? Flareup, this isn't nothing. If you overwork yourself there could be complications, and the sparklings could develop wrong, and you could-" the words were shot dead in his mouth when she pressed her lips against his.

She pulled him into her arms, tossing the small package aside. [Starscream...] she trailed her soft lips down his neck to his collar and he vented slowly, off-lining his optics for a cloudy second. [You need to stop and think for a second. What are you doing right now?]

"Trying to make sure you're alright." he shoved her by the shoulders onto a box to sit down. She looked up at him exasperatedly as he went back to work.

[You're smothering me!] She crossed her arms and legs, but immediately uncrossed them and stood back up. [Every femme likes a mech to be a little protective, but this is getting ridiculous!]

He felt her servo clamp around his wrist and cringed. This couldn't end well for him.

[I feel fine! Why can't you treat me like you did before?] she slipped around in front of him, walking her fingertips up his chest. [You haven't even tried to make love to me since we found out. It makes me start to wonder if you're really interested in me at all...]

He could hear the challenging tone in her voice. He knew she knew that he loved her, but if he didn't answer carefully he was going to get it. He wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her closer so he could kiss her helm. "Flare, I just don't want anything to go wrong." he caressed her face with his fingertips and lightly pecked her lips. "I'm afraid something bad will happen if we're not careful..."

She rolled her optics, but the look in them told him that she understood. She knew that he was scared, and was just as nervous herself. He could feel it.

[But I'm fine.] she insisted. [Please stop treating me like I can't function!] she hung on him, burying her face against his chest. [And a little loving attention wouldn't be bad either.]

He smiled softly down at her and held her tighter against him. "Okay, I'll try to be a bit less overwhelming..." he conceded. He tilted her gaze to meet his own, his smile going a little mischievous. "As for the loving attention..." he trailed off, stroking her winglets. She grinned and purred happily, running both her servos down the edges of his wings, evoking a pleasurable chuckle from him.

"_Starscream!"_

He groaned in annoyance when the medic's voice sounded through his com. "What is it Ratchet?" he asked, kissing his Sparkmate hungrily as he listened for a response.

_"I-what are you doing?"_

He pinned Flareup between him and the wall, biting down on her neck softly. "Nothing." She squeeked as he hummed against her, trying not to make much noise.

"_Well then you might want to come see this. You and Flareup._"

Finally, Starscream stopped his play and payed a little more attention. "What is it?"

"_It's your brothers. Something is happening..._"

He exchanged glances with Flareup, the look she gave him clearly saying she had heard that as well. "We'll be right there." he promised. Taking her servo in his, he lead her out of the storage room and down the hall to the med-bay.

* * *

**What will happen to Starscream's trine? Next chapter will be out soon! Leave a Review! **

**By the way, just wanted to thank everyone for the 90+ reviews! They make me so happy! And the 8,000+ hits! I never thought this story would have that much success! Thank you all! :)**


	27. Chapter 27

**So, as a presant from me to you, here is chapter 27! I worked all day on it, starting over once and working on it till the wee hours of the night. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Stascream looked down at his trine brothers, and they seemed just fine. He crouched down by Thundercracker, noticing that his servo was scratching the berth repetitively. His face was twitching and he was mumbling small incoherent sounds. The sight made his spark beat in excitement. But then he noticed the grave look on Ratchet's face.

"What's wrong?" he touched his brothers's servo, keeping it still.

The doctor glanced across the second berth and shook his head sadly. "I'm doing everything I can." he said slowly, looking down at the last Seeker. "But Skywarp isn't responding like Thrndercracker is. His sparkrate is dropping slowly..."

Starscream looked at his other brother, feeling his spark hurt. His breath hitched slightly and he started to tear up. He felt Flareup touch his shoulder and he shuddered. How could this happen? How could he find them both and only be able to save one of them?

He couldn't see anything other then his still brother. He couldn't hear his Sparkmate's words of comfort, and she must've realized that. She gave him a tight hug and kissed him briefly. Somehow, he was able to hear Ratchet's disapproving grumble after that.

[Starscream, it's going to be alright.]

He vented shakily and knelt down by his trine mates. His optics traveled over the two of them. He felt so conflicted! He was overjoyed by Thundercracker's progress, but was dying inside because of Skywarp's critical condition. His emotions were so raw and hurting, he couldn't help but cry.

Flareup tried to comfort him but he refused to be consoled. His spark was shared with these two. He had lost them once, he didn't want to lose one of them again. It had killed him enough the first time...

* * *

It was a few more hours before Thundercracker started opening his optics. Starscream jumped to alertness, kneeling beside his stirring brother. Ratchet urged Flareup and Bumblebee to leave, the lesser people in the room the less shock the Decepticon would have to suffer.

The blue Seeker groaned, his vocalizer crackling from centuries of un-use. His optics roamed aimlessly around the room until the came to rest on Starscream. He squinted at him, as if trying to figure out if he was imagining things.

"S-Starscream?" he tried to sit up but his brother just softly pushed him back again.

"You need to take it slow Thunder, you've been through quite a lot." He wished he could just throw his arms around him in a big hug, he had missed him so much, but he resorted to holding his servo firmly. Many bots thought trines were strange, they were so close with each other that many often mistook a few of them as lovers and not family. He was sure that Ratchet would have understood, but he didn't want to make things any more awkward between them then they already were.

"What happened?" his brother rasped quietly, gripping his servo in return.

"You and Skywarp were stuck in stasis lock. We found you a few weeks ago and you've both been on life support since." he paused, not wanting to say what was going on, but he knew his brother had every right to know. "You're the first to snap out of it. The doctor says you will make a full recovery..." he bit down on his lip hard. He just didn't want to say it! It was like if he said it, it would seal his other brother's fate. "Skywarp's not looking as... promising."

They turned to look at the other mech, lying on the berth next to them. He was hooked up to major life support systems to keep him venting and pumping Energon into his veins.

Thundercracker reached out towards their purple brother, trying to touch his servo. He couldn't reach, and soon let his arm go limp with a heavy sigh.

Starscream tried to distract his brother. "How are you feeling? Are there any malfunctioning processes?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't think so... I can't remember much of what happened after we left Cybertron, it's all kind of static in my mind." he shut his optics for a moment before venting tiredly. "I'm sure it will come back to me eventually."

Starscream nodded slowly, hoping for the best. "Do you need anything?"

"I'm a little hungry." he admitted.

He nodded again, and stood to retrieve a cube of Energon from a nearby table. He gave it to Thundercracker, and helped him sit with his back against the wall so he could eat it. That's when the blue Seeker froze.

"Starscream... What exactly happened while we were gone?"

He followed his brother's gaze to the Autobot insignia on the brown floor. "Oh, that." he scratched the back of his neck nervously. He was a little scared that his brothers wouldn't become friendly to the Autobots so easily. "That's a bit of a long story..."

"Well, it sounds kind of important too. Spill it." he started munching in his cube, watching him intently.

The standing Seeker vented in dread. He sat down beside his brother, and with as little detail as possible told of how, when they had 'died' he had been promoted and how everything had gone down hill from there. He explained the turn of the war and what lead them to do battle on earth. He continued to retell the story up to the point where he had started to contemplate suicide. There he stopped in mid sentence, and looked down at his own claw-like servos.

Thundercracker seemed to sense his inability to continue and put down his half eaten cube, putting a servo on his brother's shaking shoulder. "What happened?" he encouraged him to continue.

Starscream tried to keep his voice level and calm, but the pain was still as plain as could be. "I lost it. I was so alone in the world I-I actually was about to end my life!"

That made his brother stiffen. After a second of initial shock he removed his servo from his shoulder and pulled him into a tight hug. "Scream, how could you? You swore you would never do that-"

"-As long as you two were still living." he corrected, with a sad vent. "I thought you were dead, I had nothing left to live for..."

Thundercracker gave him a sad look, releasing him from his death grip. "What made you change your mind?"

This time he decided not to reveal all. He didn't want to say anything of his and Flareup's relationship yet. He knew his brother would figure it out eventually, but he wanted to keep that for a later time. "The Autobots convinced me I have more to offer alive then dead. They took me in, some unwillingly, but they gave me a second chance. And, I plan to stay here with them." he looked at his brother seriously for a moment. "And I hope you will stay with me."

Thundercracker smirked at him. "We Seekers stick together till the end, bro! If you don't want anything to do with Megatron anymore then by all means he can go to pit for all I care! You and Skywarp are all that matter to me." he gave his brother a reassuring smile, but it faded as they looked to their dying brother.

"I just hope he pulls through." Starscream mumbled.

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**Leave a Review please! Next chapter we will find out if the Autobots will be welcoming Skywarp into their fold, or burrying him. :'(**


	28. Chapter 28

They all jumped, startled by the increased beeping noises coming from one of Ratchet's tools. The medic rushed past the two brothers to the last Seeker and checked his vitals. The two conscious brothers started to die inside at his next words.

"This isn't good." the medic mumbled, poking a tool into the top left section of Skywarp's chest. "His systems are failing!" he grabbed a few other things and pushed everything out of the way so he could work. "His spark is stopping, I'll have to jumpstart it!" he took out the electric rods and began the procedure.

Starscream watched in horror close by, standing next to Thundercracker. They watched on, seemingly frozen. It just couldn't end like this, Skywarp couldn't just die! They both were silent, fearing the worst, but both begging Primus to spare their last brother.

Finally, after one grueling hour Ratchet stopped everything he was doing. He turned to the two anxious Seekers, his expression grave. "I've done everything I can but, I don't think he will-" he was interrupted by the machine behind him as the monitor flatlined. "-survive..." the long drawn out beep was like a living, breathing Unicron to the Seekers. Skywarp was gone...

Ratchet turned away from them. "I'm sorry, I'll leave you two alone."

The machines blared to life again, making the old mech jump! Skywarp gasped, his optics opening wide as if in pain! He he gripped the berth and stared at the medic. "What do you mean I won't survive?!" his systems were overheating from the sudden wake to reality, causing the life support system to work overtime.

Starscream and Thundercracker both cheered in joy, making the purple Seeker grind his denta in pain. His chest moved up and down steadily but his vents were shaky at best.

"Skywarp, are you alright?" Starscream knelt down by the berth, grasping his brother's servo.

"Starscream?" his optics squinted as he stared up at him. "Aren't you dead?" he looked confused. "Aw man! That means I'm dead!" he looked severely disappointed.

"Sky, we're not dead!" he laughed, feeling a whole lot better now that his trine was finally safe. But his optics narrowed, realizing what his brother was assuming. "Why would you think I was dead?"

The purple Seeker looked up at him sadly, "Because, Megatron said you were."

Starscream was silenced by the comment. Megatron had told his brothers that he was dead. Why would they believe him when they could feel his presence themselves. He racked his processor, desperately trying to think of what had happened.

His optics widened in understanding when he finally remembered. A week before he and his brothers were supposed to leave for an Energon excursion, Megatron had beat him for the first time. It had been so long and so horribly anguishing, he had been put into stasis for a few days. And if his brothers didn't know what had really happened they would have thought that pain was him dying.

A single tear escaped his optic and he growled. "That Aft! He tricked us so he could separate us!" he shook his helm, feeling blind anger boiling up inside of him. He wanted to rip out Megatron's spark out for tearing them apart! He would pay, eventually. Maybe not by his doing but Megatron would pay.

"It doesn't matter what happened back then." Thindercracker spoke up from where he sat on his berth. "All that matters is that we are together again, and nothing will ever take us apart."

Starscream nodded in agreement. Nothing could come between them now.

* * *

After his trine mates had practically ordered him, by the power and authority of being the older ones, he finally went to go recharge. He felt drained, and rightfully so. He had stayed awake with them for almost two days. He had refused to leave their sides through it all. Now, he just wanted to see his Sparkmate and go to sleep.

He slid open the door to Flareup's berthroom and yawned tiredly. Stepping into the darkened room, he saw Flareup already asleep. He leaned against the wall for a moment, just watching her sleep. She made soft sounds and stroked the berth with her fingertips.

He vented slowly, finally lying down next to her. He tried not to make a sound but his weight next to her made her stir. She turned to him, her optics fluttering on. They smiled at each other and she edged forward to kiss him.

[Is everything alright?]

He nodded, capturing her lips again. "They gave me quite a scare but..." he paused, stroking her face with the back of his servo. "Everything's alright now."

* * *

**So, just got back from 5 hours of babysitting... That, was, so, stressful! So after I got back I finished this in my relaxing time and decided to post it. Please leave a review. **


	29. Chapter 29

Starscream looked at the chart, sadness filling his spark at the first glance at the diagram. Skywarp had said a few hours ago that he couldn't feel his legs, and Ratchet had run some diagnostics. The outcome didn't look good. Skywarp was going to have to lose his legs.

He didn't know quite how to tell him that though. It was possible to fix them but he was going to have to get them completely removed first. Ratchet was confidant that he would survive the procedure and would be repaired by the end of the week, but that didn't help to ease his worries.

"We have to tell him something!" Thundercracker, who was perfectly fine and walking around with little trouble, looked over his shoulder at the chart. "The sooner we get it over with the better."

Starscream nodded slowly. "I know... It's just... Remember when he had to have his servo removed when it was smashed in the engine room? That took only an hour to repair and we didn't hear the end of it for years!"

Thundercracker laughed, "I told him the bad news last time, it's you're turn." he nudged him forward towards their brother.

The younger Seeker vented in dread, looking down at his purple brother. He sat down on the edge of the berth, words stuck in his throat. He cast one last painfully pleading look at Thundercracker before turning his full attention to Skywarp.

"Come on, just spit it out Screamer, I can handle it." Skywarp put on a brave face, but his optics were terrified. "What's it going to be? Is it bad? Will I need surgery?- Oh, please tell me I'll still be able to fly!" his bravery melted away, replaced completely with blind, uncontrollable fear.

Starscream gulped once. "Ratchet says you will be fine... But to regain use of your legs he going to have to..." Skywarp glared at him in impatience. "Oh pit! You have to get your legs chopped off!"

"What?! No!"

Starscream and Thundercracker both tackled him, keeping him restrained to the berth. "You have to do this man! It's the only way!" the blue Seeker tried to reason with him, but there was no use. Starscream wrapped an arm around his brother's throat, not quite sure how he had ended up underneath him in the first place.

"Sky please! It's for your own good!" he tightened his death hold, wrapping his legs around his torso when Thundercracker had fallen off the berth. He strangled his brother, trying to keep him still as Ratchet finally showed up to give him a sedative.

"Let go! You don't understand what it's like!" Skywarp pleaded, smacking Ratchet's tools away. Thunder finally resumed his help, and he grabbed both his struggling brother's servos.

"Sky-" Starscream adjusted to get a better hold on him. "-I have personally lost both my arms and legs and half of my helm! I think I understand perfectly what surgery is like!"

When his body finally stilled Starscream relaxed, letting his arms fall to the berth and untangling himself from his two brothers. He vented heavily from the work and tumbled onto the floor. He and his conscious brother sat there a moment, letting their systems cool.

Thundercracker turned to him, a small smile flickering across his face. "That went surprisingly well."

He laughed, nodding in agreement. "He's always been a pain when it came to doctors..." he huffed, shaking his head. "Remember when he cracked his helm? I thought I was going to die from his wailing..."

The mech beside him laughed. "Yeah..." But then his gaze fell. Starscream could feel his unease and knew that he was going to have to answer a question that he didn't want too. "Scream... What you said, about having surgery so much, was that all true? Did you really lose all your limbs and damage your helm?"

He avoided his brother's optics, instead staring intently at the ground. "A lot happened when you two left. A lot of things changed..." but he nodded. "Yes, it's true."

"I thought you felt different." Thundercracker mused, his gaze sad but promising a joke. "You seem a little more mature, as if that's even possible!" he smirked, punching Starscream's shoulder.

He flinched, involuntarily thinking of Megatron's wrathful punishments. He shook himself, trying to forget it. His life had changed, but his brothers hadn't. He knew they would never hurt him, but some mental scars were slow to heal. He tried to smile slyly, shoving him back. "No thanks to you two! How did you expect me to grow up with you always treating me like a sparkling? I'm only a few minutes younger than you guys... Although I suppose mom didn't help much either." he tried to mimic her voice, doing so very poorly. _"'Starscream don't do that. Star, don't do what your brothers are doing, it's too dangerous for you_.' Oh and one of my personal favorites, '_Starscream, don't kiss femmes they'll think you're weird_.' She was way over protective..." he laughed softly. "I miss her."

Thundercracker nodded. "I do too." he bumped Syarscream, demanding his full attention. "Speaking of kissing femmes, when do I get to meet the one that seems to have stolen your spark from us? Did you think I would ignore that forever?"

"I was hoping... Can't blame me for that..." he mumbled.

"Our sparks are linked bro! If you bond with anyone we can feel her just like you can, minus the awkwardness of how that sounded." he wrapped an arm over the red Seeker's shoulder. "So, which one is she? The blue one?"

"I'm not telling you!" inwardly he gagged at the idea of him and Arcee as a couple, and quivered in fear at the thought of Optimus Prime's reaction to that. He shuddered. "It would never be her though."

"Ah, so it's the fiery one?" he visibly glanced across the room at Flareup, looking her up and down. "Nice..."

Starscream glared at him. "Hey! That's my Sparkmate, watch your mouth!"

He laughed, completely undeterred by Starscream's threat. "So it is her. Well, perhaps I'll just go introduce myself." he smirked.

"Oh no, Thunder please don't." he followed after him quickly.

Flareup looked up from what she was doing when the blue mech approached her. She gave him a smile but looked confused when he glared at her. She backed away from him uncertainly.

"Excuse me miss, but I believe you stole my brother's spark." his glare broke out into a grin and he pulled her into a crushing hug, spinning her in a circle. She squeaked, her smile returning. "Welcome to the family, sister!" he set her back down on her feet.

Starscream's glare never wavered away from his brother. He quickly pulled Flareup to his side after she was set down, wrapping an arm around her waist protectively. "Hey, careful with the mid section!" he hugged her close to him as if that would protect her and the sparklings from his excited brother.

This time Thundercracker was shocked into silence, but that didn't last near long enough. He looked at Flareup curiously. "You seriously let him get you sparked? Wow, things must have really changed since we were gone! Before I left, femmes wouldn't even look in this sucker's direction!" he laughed at his brother's embarrassed look. "I'm Thundercracker, the oldest." he shook her servo.

[Flareup.] she gave him a soft punch to the shoulder. [But save the formalities, we both know I want to hear _every_ embarrassing story you have on this poor mech.] she kissed Starscream's already flushing cheek.

Thundercracker raised an optic ridge. "What would you like to know? I have a lot of humiliating to catch up on."

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**Sorry this one took a little while, although I suppose a few days isn't very long. I had to start over quite a few times, I just couldn't be happy with it! *Sighs* I suppose it's satisfactory now. :) leave a review :)**


	30. Chapter 30

**This chapter is going to meet the T rating. Just thought I'd say that it has a bit of a touchy subject that's a bit dark. But other then that, enjoy. The next chapter will be out soon.**

**Oh, and to cin70 I meant it as Optimus Prime and Arcee as a couple. Sorry if there was any confusion with that. :)**

* * *

Starscream vented slowly, feeling relieved to finally be alone with Flareup. Three hours she had swapped stories with his brother. Three hours they had mocked and teased him. It had been beyond humiliating to hear his most suppressed memories retold. It had been torture!

He lay down in the berth in their room and turned to face the wall. He almost wanted to shy away when she laid down next to him, he felt so betrayed by both her and his brother! He curled up, trying to ignore the cold air around him.

Flareup seemed to realize that he wasn't listening to her and finally snuggled up next to him, hugging him from behind. [Starscream, what's wrong?] she pressed her face into the back of his neck, nibbling on the wires there. [You're acting kind of closed off for someone who just got his family back. Aren't you excited?]

He nodded slowly. "Yes, of course. I'm just a little tired is all." he tried to lie but knew by her tensing up that he had not fooled her at all. Instead of trying to cover the lie with another one he vented. "I don't want to talk about it."

She squeezed him tightly, whispering words of enticement into his audio receptors.

"No, I don't want to talk about it!" he snapped, pulling away from her to distance himself from her seductive fingers. The coldness returned to bite at him and he heard her stop moving, shocked at his bluntness. He glared at the wall, suddenly feeling guilty for yelling at her. He could feel that he had hurt her slightly and felt even worse.

He vented, sitting up and pulling her into his chest. "I'm sorry." he cuddled her against him and felt her spark ease a little. He kissed her helm, holding her tightly. "I didn't mean to snap like that." her fingertips stroked his Decepticon insignia as she listened to him. Her optics were dim from lack of a recharge, but he knew she wouldn't sleep until he told her what was going on. "Look, I-I just, the last few days have just been very... painful." she looked up at him in confusion. "I'm happy my brothers are okay, but it's bringing back some memories that I tried to get rid of for a long time..."

[Starscream, you falling into a vat of scraplet carcasses and freaking out isn't something to be ashamed of. You were little, that would have scared the scrap out of Megatron, let alone a little sparkling.] she pecked his lower lip, letting her optics shut when he kissed her back.

"It's not just the embarrassing stuff. Although telling you all that stuff was way uncalled for!" he shook his head. "I'm going to have to find a way to get him back for that eventually." he vented sadly, holding her closer. "There are some things that even my brothers won't repeat. Some things in our younger years just hurt. And having Skywarp and Thunder back... it's good... but it makes me remember everything else that had happened." he trailed off, stroking his thumb over her lower back quietly.

[I'm sorry Star.] she wrapped her arms around his shoulders after a moment of silence. They remained in their embrace, silently loving the other in small touches. A stroke to the wings. A small nip at the neck. They were very gentle with each other as they each waited for the other to break their silence.

Starscream finally decided that they should just recharge and pulled her down next to him. Still no words were said as she snuggled into his side. He stared at the ceiling until he could hear her soft breaths slow and he knew she was asleep, then turned to her. He placed a servo over her carrying chamber, trying to imagine the sparklings. He smiled, almost laughing in joy for a millionth time. He was excited to be a father, but in another way he was terrified. He didn't want to be like his own father.

He lay back, tears starting to form in his optics when he thought about his life as a young sparkling. He and his brothers were constantly ignored or ordered around by their father. He was a scumbag of scrap, a horrible father and husband. He neglected them all and left them constantly. Their mother was constantly crying, her spark breaking slowly with every blow, mental or physical.

He remembered his mother always telling them to hide or leave when he came back, usually in a drunken state. For the longest time they didn't know what would happen when they left but they did as they were told. They were just out of their child stage when they finally started to realize that their father was beating her.

Not long after they figured it out their farther started letting his aggressions out on his sons. It was never as brutal as with their mother, but it still hurt. She usually was able to get them away from him before any damage was done.

A few years later, she had become sparked again. Starscream and his brothers had been so excited for the new member of their family, but dreading it all the more when their father found out. He hadn't been happy and they were afraid that he would hurt the sparkling. Right then Starscream and his brothers swore to protect the sparkling and their mother no matter what. It wasn't long after that Starscream had to keep his word.

Finally, Starscream started to cry silently. Tears streaked down his face when the memories came back.

He had been alone with their mother after school. They had been talking in the workshop out back behind their house, trying to figure out why he was falling behind in his science class. It had been a very light hearted conversation however. His mother never got upset with them, no matter what they did. She only tried to see them through whatever was going on and make them learn from their mistakes.

They were talking about simple things when his father came in, completely in a drunken rage! And when he had attacked his mother, hitting her in the stomach, Starscream jumped into action. He jumped onto him, tackling him to he ground. There had been much screaming and pain in the fight but in the end Starscream had come out victorious, slumped over his father's bloodied form. The older mech was no more.

In the end it had been all for naught however, as when she had gone to make sure the sparkling was okay it had been off-lined. Their poor sister had never even been able to experience life. And not long after that, their mother had off-lined as well.

Starscream looked over at his Sparkmate as she squeaked in her sleep. His spark felt heavy as he looked at her lovingly. How could he treat her like his father treated his mother? As he thought about it he realized that he never could. He loved her too much to hurt her and if he ever did he swore that he would off-line himself just to keep her safe from himself.

He leaned over her and kissed her full on the lips, running his servo over her carrying chamber softly. She had said she wasn't showing yet, but he could already feel the small bump. He looked down at where the sparklings were, stroking his thumb over them. "I will never hurt you." he promised, "And I will always love you." he turned his attention back to her as she stirred.

Her optics on-lined with a flicker, her gaze drowsy. She looked at him confusedly but he kissed her before she could do more than open her mouth.

"I love you Flareup. You have no idea how much I care about you." he breathed against her neck.

She rolled her optics at him, smiling at his weird timing for this confession. [I love you too.]. She pecked his lips for a moment before finding her comfy place again by his side. [Can we please go to sleep?]

Starscream nodded, feeling slightly silly for waking her up. He held her close to him and relaxed. Having his brothers around was going to be really nice. The embarrassing stories would continue but he didn't mind very much. And the bad memories would fade away eventually. He just needed to focus on the good, positive things. His fingers brushed over Flareup and the unborn sparklings inside of her, his smile returning before he finally shut down to recharge. He would focus on his little family.

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**Please leave a review! :)**


	31. Chapter 31

Starscream and Thundercracker walked among the trees slowly. Flareup had insisted for some time to get to know Skywarp and had sent them away to do 'whatever you boys do'. So he had decided to take Thunder on a little tour of the planet.

They were wandering around the area the harbinger had crashed. Evidence of the Autobot's clash with himself and Arachnid was still present. Scorch marks and broken trees surrounded them, but it was still a nice walk.

He felt a little strange being the one leading for once. Usually it was the opposite way around and his brothers would be telling him everything. "And these are what the humans call, evergreens." he pointed to some of the trees to their left.

Thundercracker broke off a chunk of bark from one of the pine trees to the right, looking at it curiously. "This place is very strange." he dusted some bark crumbs off of his servo as he dropped it.

Starscream nodded, "You get used to it after a while. The surroundings here are very different from other places though. So if you don't like it here you can go a few hundred miles in any direction and it will change." Earth was strange that way. He often wondered why other planets he had been to weren't that way but disregarded it after a while.

Thundercracker smirked, rotating his shoulders in anticipation. "Speaking of going a hundred miles in any direction. How about you show me the limits of the skies? You've been here a while, you should be able to get me back in the game."

Starscream froze, his optics growing wider in shocked remembrance. He hadn't thought about flying since before he had found out that Flareup was sparked. And he had forgotten that his brothers were able to fly still. "I can't." he regretted his answer, his voice came out barely as a whisper. He remembered sadly that as soon as Skywarp was functional again they would want to go flying together. His spark ached at the thought of staying behind.

His brother looked at him curiously. "What do you mean you can't?"

Starscream fingered the place on his frame where his T-cog should have been located underneath. "I can't fly." he said finally, not daring to meet the gaze of his horrified brother. He looked down at the ground shamefully. "I lost my T-cog."

Shocked didn't begin to cover it for his brother. The feelings stirring in their spark connection bordered the line of sadness and despair. "How?"

Starscream shrugged slightly. "It's a long story. And a humiliating one that I don't want you telling anyone."

Thundercracker shook his head. "Scream, I tease you about a lot of things but I swear this will not be one of them. Just tell me what happened. Can it be repaired?"

They stopped walking. "I don't know." he confessed. "I have a T-cog in my possession but I'm not sure if there is a way to put it back inside after all this time."

Thundercracker grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him slightly. "Dude, where there's a will there's a way. If you have the tools and things needed I can fix that!" he looked desperate to help.

Starscream sighed, half hopeful and half dreading. If it worked he could fly again, and if it didn't it could possibly kill him. The possibilities that it would work though were ever persistent in his mind. "This way. There is a downed ship here that I have taken up residence in. It will have everything you need, if you think you're up to it."

He cracked his knuckles. "Starscream by this time tomorrow you are going to fly again, I promise... No seeker should have to live without his wings."

The red Seeker smiled nervously. It felt too good to be true. As he lead his brother to the Harbinger he began to wonder if it was such a good idea. How could it not be though? If he had the power of flight again his options were limitless! He could be of more help to the Autobots from in the air and by extension he could better protect his Sparkmate.

He thought about it as Thundercracker rambled on about the procedure, hardly listening at all. He didn't think that he'd like the details too much anyways, in fact he'd admit he would probably chicken out if he knew everything that was going to happen. His biggest struggle was about Flareup. Would she approve of what he was doing? He hoped she would, because he didn't think he'd have time to ask.

They entered the medical bay of the Harbinger and his brother gave a low whistle. "Nice. There's everything I need in here!"

Starscream nodded. "Yes, I know... It's all been laying there on that table for some time. I could have done it myself, I just don't have the nerve."

Thundercracker pushed him down on the operation table, clamping a few things down on his wrists and ankles. "That's why you have me." he gave him a smile that half resembled a crazy scientist... which he was.

But Starscream merely nodded. "I'm very fortunate to have you back."

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**I know, this is probably not my best work. I will come back some time in the future and give it a good editing. But I can say that the next chapter will be better. Lots of drama and whatever. Can't wait. :) so please review, I will have it out as soon as possible. **

**Remember when I said about 20 chapters ago that this story had about 10 chapters left? Well I think I can say i was way wrong about that! So now my estimat is that this story will have around 40 chapters total. I never thought it would be that long! :)**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey guys! Thanks for being so patient with me and I'm so sorry this took so long to get up. I've been a little obsessed with a story I'm doing on Megatron, and school is also getting in the way of writing. Thank you all for the reviews, and without further ado, Enjoy! :)**

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[Starscream, you're an aft head!] he felt a servo slap him but took the blow silently. [You bastard, you are such a- a Mech!] Flareup glared at him murderously. [What do you have to say for yourself?]

"Flareup I don't know how to put this." he started, but saw her clench her jaw. Perhaps that wasn't the best way to start. "I mean, I just need you to listen and hear me out okay? I can explain everything."

[Can you?] her optics narrowed on him. [Mind telling me, I don't know, maybe why you were gone for a whole day and a half without telling me where you were? Or maybe, I know, why couldn't I feel your spark connection for all that time? And why do you have welding on your side? Can you tell me all of that?] she demanded, punctuating each sentence with an accusing poke to his chest.

He winced at the high pitch of her voice, and the painful gabs to torso. She was very angry and she was going to make him pay for not telling her before having the procedure.

"I can explain everything." he tried to sound calm and reassuring. He sympathized with her, he really did. He knew very well how she felt and he felt horrible because of it. "It was a bit of a rushed decision I admit but I didn't want to wait. I was given a chance to replace my T-cog and I did. Thundercracker put me under, that's why you couldn't connect with me, and the welding is just a patch up from the surgery." He had hoped that the explanation would calm her down, but by the look on her face he had only made things worse.

[You had what?] she stood taller, glaring at him with tears in her optics. [You had surgery, without telling me?!] now she was furious. [Didn't you think that maybe you should tell me these things before you do something do stupid? Oh wait, you're a mech, you don't think!]

Starscream got to his feet, anger starting to boil up inside him. "Now wait just a slagging second!" he stared down at her, how could she say he didn't think? He was worried sick about her a few hours ago, but not anymore. Now he was just as upset with her as she was with him. "So I can't do what I think is best unless I have your permission?"

[Yes!] she looked like she wanted to hit him across the face.

He threw up his servos in frustration. "Figures, the moment I actually get a Sparkmate I can't make any decisions on my own anymore! It wasn't your decision to make!"

[Starscream!] she glared up at him, poking a finger against his insignia. [Half of my spark lives in your chest! I think I have every right to help you make a life threatening decision!] she smacked his chest. [You could have at least had Ratchet do it! He's a doctor!]

He growled at her, completely ignoring the Autobot medic as he turned to see what was going on. "I'll have you know, Femme, my brother is a perfectly fine surgeon!" he stood taller, keeping his dominance in the argument. He wasn't about to just let her insult his brother.

She glares at him, her optics literally sparking now. [You...Dare... Call me that?! You dare, refer to me bu that!] She shoved him backwards, maintaining her intimidating outward appearance. [You stupid-stupid-stupid-mech!] she was screaming at the top of her temporary voice box by now, drawing the medic's unwavering attention.

"Well maybe you could just trust me every once in a while!" he suggested, stepping back up to the invisible battle lines. "That might be nice." he crossed his arms.

She fumed at him. [You-you-] she screeched in annoyance and slapped him, sending pain shooting up to his processor and making him slightly light headed. [Mechs! Stupid Mechs!] she turned on her heels and started to storm away from him but was stopped quickly by her own father. And the medic didn't look amused.

Ratchet grabbed her by the back of her neck and snatched Starscream in the same manner, steering them both down the hall. "This has gone to far! Arguing with each other I can understand but I will not tolerate you two hitting each other! Flareup, that was a stupid thing to do. Starscream made a mistake by having surgery without your consent. But you are acting very poorly over something you should be happy about." he opened the door to their berth room and stepped inside with them still at his mercy. "I don't like your relationship as it is but I won't stand for you two being like this." he shoved them both onto their berth and stormed back out of the room. The door slammed shut behind him. "Now kiss and make up! And if you don't, so help me I will separate you both and torture you until you beg for one another!"

As the Medic's footsteps died away, silence enveloped them. Even their spark connection was still. When he looked at her, her expression was vacant and desolate. It made him want to speak to her, but he didn't trust his tongue to say the right thing. So they sat there in silence, wallowing in their own misery.

Why did it have to be so hard for her to understand that what he did was a good thing? He was only trying to do what was best. Why was that so hard for her to hear? But he realized that amidst his justification, he had never once said that.

He felt her shift, and her emotional pattern rippled in grief. Before he had time to react she buried her face in her servos and wailed! Her tears streaked down her arms in little rivers as she cried. It was then that he finally felt her worry and her despair at what he had done. He didn't understand why she was upset, but he knew that she was and that was a start.

"Flare?" he touched her shoulder almost timidly. She was shaking terribly and she shied away from him. He felt his spark constrict, taking a turn down emotional turmoil. He had hurt her, not physically but with words. He had hurt her and he had sworn he wouldn't be like his father. "Flareup..." he pulled her into his arms despite her attempt to get away. "Flareup, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have, I mean- I should have-" try though he might, words refused to come out clear to him. And his own tears started falling, trailing down onto her helm.

She held onto him tightly as if he was trying to leave, her sobs becoming louder. He stroked the lower area of her back softly, wordlessly holding her against him.

[Starscream, I am such a horrible person...] she cried, burying her face against his chest. [I am such an aft! I'm so sorry!] he stared down at her, what did she have to be sorry about? She tried to pull away from him but he kept her close, refusing to let her get away.

"Flareup, I am the one that should be sorry." he said softly, but it seemed his attempts fell on deft audio receptors.

[Starscream, I'm so stupid... I should be happy for you, but I can only think of taking that T-cog right out of your chest! I can understand why you would want to leave me, I'm horrible!] she buried herself into his chest deeper, trying to hide away from the world.

"Leave you?" he was disgusted at the mere thought. How could he live with himself if he left her? How could he justify ever leaving her and their unborn sparklings? "Flareup, for what reason in pit would I ever leave you?!"

She cried even louder. [Once you can fly again you'll leave me...] her voice box cracked, almost drowning out her next words, but he heard them as if she had screamed them into his audio receptors. [...because I can't follow you... I don't have a T-cog, you'll think I'm worthless now...] she cried.

He didn't know what to say. It wasn't true, any of it! She thought that he looked down on her because she didn't have the ability to transform, as if that had meant anything to him to begin with. "Flareup, I did this for you. Sure it was a very appealing idea, but I did it to better myself. I want to be able to protect you to my best ability. You make me want to be my best in everything I do. I would never leave you, I want to stay with you forever! I want to be the best mech and father I can be, that's the only reason I did this!" he stroked her small winglets, holding her close as he hushed her. "Like pit I would leave you..." he cursed, his spark hurting at the feel of hers breaking. But the pain slowly died down and she slowly stopped crying. "I love you Flareup, and nothing will ever change that. I promise." he kissed her helm, lying back onto the berth with her. "Let's never fight again."

[I agree...] She vented quietly as they both looked up at the grey ceiling. [I'm sorry, I guess I'm just feeling overwhelmed.] she snuggled into his side. [And I'm lonely. You've been focussing so much on your brothers lately I guess I was getting a little jealous...]

He smiled down at her. "There's no need to be jealous. And there's no reason to be scared." he pecked her lips, gently running his servos down her thin frame to rest in her stomach. "Nothing but death itself could take me away from you now."

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**Possible foreshadowing anybody? Muahahahaaaa! **

**Please Review! :)**


	33. Chapter 33

**This is kind of a filler chapter. And I'm sorry it's not very long, all of my readers deserve long awesome chapters but alas, it is short... Enjoy. :)**

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Starscream's fingers itched, his spark thumping in his chest like a steady drum. He wanted to help, but Flareup and Ratchet had made it clear that they didn't want him to be there when it happened.

"Ow! Scrap, it hurts!"

He flinched, grinding his denta at his brother's screams of agony. His audios ached at the shrill sounds emanating from the medical bay. Thundercracker seemed just as pained and anxious as he was.

"Oh, make it stop! Please!" he begged, screaming after a particularly loud bang.

"If you'd hold still, it wouldn't hurt as bad!" they heard Ratchet snap and the whirl of the medical tool once again. The two Seekers looked at each other with dread as Flareup stumbled into the waiting room. She looked frustrated yet relieved.

"What's happening?" the brothers asked in unison. They glanced at each other briefly before turning their attention back to her. Starscream vented slowly, already he was frustrated with his brother's ability to say exactly what he did at the exact same time.

Flareup wrapped her arms around her Sparkmate with an exhausted sigh. [He's fine.] she muttered, burying her face into his chest. [He's just being a pain in the aft...]

Thundercracker cracked a smile. "Eh, that's Skywarp for ya. He's always been like that."

She nodded, silently and tiredly rubbing the back of Starscream's neck with her thumb. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her helm lightly. She smiled and he felt happiness ripple through their spark link.

[Has Skywarp always been insane too?] she asked no one in particular. [He says he wants to be awake for the procedures but he con plains that it's too painful...]

"Yeah, he's always been like that. Unless TC's the one behind the tools. We've always trusted him with our lives." Starscream said, once again trying to convince her that his own procedure had been a safe one.

She frowned. [Don't test me right now Scream, I'm about this close to whacking you with one of Ratchet's wrenches.

He gave her a teasing smirk. "I thought we agreed not to fight anymore." he whispered huskily into her audios, making her smile.

[It wouldn't be a fight.] she looked him in the optics, a devilish smirk playing across her features. [It'd be me kicking your aft.]

"Oh, hey now, that's not very nice." he pouted.

She gave him a naughty smile. [I know, I'm sorry. I'm sure you'll find a way for me to make it up to you later...] she nipped at his bottom lip, playfully kissing him.

"Oh, by the Allspark, get a room..." Thundercracker groaned, turning away awkwardly.

Flareup laughed, making Starscream's spark flutter. [I'm just glad I won't have to deal with Skywarp for a while. He may have his legs attached but he's not going anywhere any time soon.]

Starscream heard something clang and he laughed. "I think you may have spoke a little too soon Flare."

Skywarp stumbled into their presence, leaning heavily against the far wall with a look of absolute horror on his face. He shouted back at the medic, his tone furious. "You're a crazy person!"

A wrench flew through the air, hitting the back of his helm with extreme accuracy. "Well, if you had let me put you into stasis it wouldn't have been so bad you stupid Seeker!" Ratchet scoffed.

Starscream let go of Flareup to help his brother off of the floor. The Seeker shook weakly and has to support most of his weight on him. "I'm sorry to agree but making an enemy of Ratchet was really a stupid thing to do."

Skywarp smirked triumphantly. "Ah, I was just messing with him. You know that." he sat down on the crate he was guided to with a proud look. "I just got tired of his grumbling. I want to be with my family, now that I know you're not dead and I have a new member to add to our little fold!" he looked at Flareup with a small wink. "You've been busy Star."

Starscream nodded, drawing his mate to his side gently. "It's just good to be a family again."

Thundercracker nodded in agreement. "So, when do ya think you'll be up to flying Sky? Scream's got a fresh pair of wings he still needs to try out-" Starscream shook his head vigorously, begging his brothers to not go there yet. He could feel Flareup get edgy just mentioning it. "-uh-I mean, Flareup?" she looked at him curiously. "When should we be expecting our new little members to join us?"

She smiled a little shyly, rolling her optics at his quick change in subject. She gave him a humoring look and touched her carrying chamber absentmindedly. [If all goes well they should be here in a couple more weeks.]

Skywarp looked at her in confusion. "A few weeks? I can't even see the bump yet." he pointed out teasingly.

She rolled her optics again. "It doesn't take very long for then to get bigger once everything is formed. Goodness, Starscream I thought you said your brothers were smart." she made fun of them, smirking.

"Hey!" the trine responded all at the same time.

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**Just a note: I know twins/triplets don't speak at the same time. (at least not all the time) This was dedicated to the moments where me and my cousin (whom everyone thought was my twin) would say the same things together all the time. So Natty-Wacker, that was for you. **

**Thank you all for the lovely supporting reviews, I love them all to death. They keep me motivated to write. **

**So, SPOILER! Next chapter will have some Starscream Megatron confrontation! :) I know I can't wait. **


	34. Chapter 34

Starscream's wings twitched as the wind brushed past them, causing him to sigh in pleasure. He looked at Flareup pleadingly, his optics begging to let him free. He could understand her hesitation to let him go, she was scared. She didn't want to be left and abandoned with sparklings, he understood her fear. But he wanted to fly so badly! It was killing him to be stuck on the ground. And his brothers shared his sentiment. Their sparks ached with the need to stretch their wings, but they had refused to go without him.

Flareup looked at him knowingly. She vented slowly, letting the sound drag out for a few seconds. [Alright... Go ahead, I know you want to.] the other two Seekers cheered behind them, excited to finally be let free. They jumped into the air, transforming and flying around in loops.

Starscream hugged her gratefully, kissing her lips repetitively. "Thank-you, thank-you so much!" he felt like he could burst with happiness.

She gave him serious look before kissing him fully, her actions filled with passion. She pulled away slowly, holding his face between her servos. [Just come back to me.] she begged.

He touched his helm to hers, looking deep into her optics. "I promise, I'll be back soon."

She smiled, her servos against his chest. [Then get out of here!] she shoved him away, laughing. [Get out of my sight and don't come back until you get this flying business out of your system.]

He smiled gratefully at her before turning to the edge of the cliff. "I'll be back!" he shouted over the wind as he lept over the edge.

For a moment he stayed in a free fall, simply happy to have the wind rushing past him with no fear of the ground. At the last possible second he transformed and blasted into the sky with a cry of adrenaline, soaring back above the cliff and into the horizon to join his brothers. The last he saw of Flareup was her shaking her head at his excitement.

He felt his spark soar at the heights, speeds and dives. The turbulence trying to toss him brought him a joy he had missed, and the look of the sun dipping into the horizon made the flight even better.

As the three Seekers flew amongst the clouds, he thought of the first sunset he had shared with Flareup. It felt like a long time ago now, but the memory was still fresh. He remembered how much she seemed to love the sunset and his spark hurt. He wished she could be there with him. Why did fate have to be so cruel?

He watched his brothers speed up but lingered behind them. When they were a good distance in front of him he opened up his spark link to Flareup, trying to send the sensations that he was feeling to her, and thanking her with his emotions. He tried to stress every feeling that resided deep inside of him. The thrill. The amazing sense of power. The way he felt in control now.

Her side of the connection was still for a moment, then he felt her understanding coming back to him. He smiled inwardly and sped to catch up with his trine.

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In the dark of the night Starscream listened to his older brothers' chatter, his spark light and care free. They were flying by the ocean now, with the stars above then and the beaches below. The world was peaceful now, and everything was as it should have been.

"Bet I can beat you back to base!" Thundercracker piped up. "I think it's about time we got back anyways. Flareup might be worried about a certain somebody by now."

Starscream mentally rolled his optics. "Guys, she trusts me. I'm sure she knows we're fine." he tried not to sound too embarrassed but them being his spark brothers made it all the more clear. They both laughed at his mixed hesitance and started speeding back the way they had come.

Starscream inwardly vented, feeling a little tired from the flight. He had no idea he was that out of shape... "I'll catch up with you guys." he messaged them before transforming and landing on the sandy ground.

He walked up the beach casually, stretching his cramped limbs. The waves crashed nearby, muffling his tired yawn as he wandered. Maybe he could just ask for a bridge back? That would be quicker and way less tiring.

After a while of roaming the sand he activated his com and tried to reach the Autobot base, only to find static. He froze, fearful electric chills tearing through his body. Suddenly the night didn't seem so tranquil. Everything was dark and cold, merciless. His optics darted this way and that searching for the creature he feared was lurking in the darkness.

He heard his laugh first. It echoed around in the quiet night, menacingly. Megatron appeared above him, perched high on a rock. He smirked down upon him, his optics glittering with amusement. "Long time no see, eh Starscream?" he jumped down behind the Seeker, blocking him in between him and the rock. The only way away was up, the larger mech would surely pulverize him if he tried to edge around him. "It really has been too long." he whispered, looking as fierce as ever. "And everything seems to be looking pretty good for you. A Sparkmate. Your brothers are back. You've made peace with the enemy. Yes, everything sounds pretty good."

"What do you want?" he tried desperately to find a way to get free of his master's trap. He hadn't thought of the mech as his master in some time but it fit again, he was controlling every move he made...

Megatron chuckled, his grin widening. "Simple, I want to make your life perfect. You have everything you could ever want... except a future ruling the galaxy." he purred, making Starscream shiver. He took a step forward towards him, and the Seeker took a step back. Slowly the ex-con was backed up against the rock wall. "Face it Starscream..." he his voice was about as charming as a serpent. "You miss the power. You miss being in control." he leaned even further forward, whispering directly into his audios. "I can give you back your position. I can get you the power you so desperately crave..."

Starscream clenched his optics shut tightly, a tiny whimper escaping his throat. He wanted so badly to hear what he was saying. He missed the control he had, he missed the power. And he wanted so badly for it to be his once again. But he didn't want to listen to him. He knew Megatron was a deceiver, a merciless killer. And this was all working some angle for his advantage.

The temptation ate away at his soul, leaving his spark burning with desire. Slowly he ventured down the path that undoubtedly lead to his doom. "What is it you want from me?"

Megatron laughed darkly, backing away. The Seeker felt small, defeated, and weak. "I want you to give me the location of the Autobot base."

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	35. Chapter 35

His spark was a cold desolate place. His body was numb, and shook violently as he looked into Megatron's blood red optics. How could he betray the Autobots, after all they had done for him? But on the other hand, why didn't he? He had been a mech with power, a Seeker feared by many. Second in command to the most powerful mech in the universe!

He took a small step forward towards him.

A small smile started to spread across his face when he thought of the chance to regain his title. He could have it all, by uttering but a few words. His optics must have been gleaming with power lust, and Megatron could clearly see it. The Decepticon leader smirked, laughing darkly.

The laugh was the same one he had when cornering Flareup in the heat of battle. And it shook Starscream to his core, making him remember why he hadn't gone crawling back sooner.

His smile faded, and he looked quickly to the ground. The larger mech's expression hardened seemingly sensing his change. The Seeker heard the growl forming in his master's throat.

Images of his new friends, his brothers, his Sparkmate all passed through his mind. Each face weighed his spark with more guilt. He couldn't believe he had even thought to leave them all behind, just to return to the oppressive hand of his abuser.

He shook his head, stepping backwards slowly. "I-I will have to consider..." he glanced desperately at a gap between Megatron and the rock cliff trapping him. He wished so badly that he could just get away!

Megatron's optics held no end of malice. With a terrifying roar he moved forward and pinned the Seeker agains the rock wall. "You need to consider?!" he growled and Starscream could feel the mech's servo dig into his side. He screamed in agony as he tore at the exposed wires and cried pitifully when he stopped. Memories of the past began to fill his mind and he tried to squirm away, to avoid any more of those memories.

"Megatron- please!" he begged for the mech to stop but he merely attacked again, tearing his claws into his wings. The resounding screams would have been enough to make Unicron's audios break!

He pushed the mech away fervently, desperate to get away. But his attempts were useless, as they always seemed to be. "Megatron- I can't!" his vocal processor overloaded as his screams reached a breaking point. He felt like he was going to die as the mech dug into his neck and shoulder.

"Tell me where they are Starscream!" he shouted, throwing the mech into a heap on the ground. When he said nothing he picked him up again and shoved him against the wall. "I can do this all day."

Starscream cowered beneath his rage, feeling his Energon pour down his side. "I don't- I don't know where they are." he admitted. He realized that even though they had brought him under their care, the Autobots had never entrusted him with their secrets.

Megatron paused in his torture, leaning forward to whisper to him. "Then find out." his brushed his denta over his audio receptors, then bit down hard! But Starscream heard his next words over his own cries as if they had been burned into his mind. "If you don't, I will find this Flareup and I will tear her apart right in front of you." he released them mech, dropping him carelessly in the ground. "I will expect your answer a week from now. Pray this time you won't disappoint me Starscream."

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The second he entered the Autobot base he made a beeline to Flareup. She jumped in surprise as his servo clamped around her arm, but he simply ignored her questioning stare and went on to find Optimus Prime. If he was ever in need of wisdom and guidance it was now.

[Starscream, your neck-] Flareup touched his open wound gently, making him flinch as pain shot up and down his spine.

"I'm fine." he tried to reassure her, but not whole heartily. In truth he was in agonizing pain but he needed to talk to Optimus so badly...

The large red and blue mech was wandering into the main room, almost running into the Seeker. "Starscream-" he dodged him quickly so he didn't fall on top of them both. "What happened to you?"

Starscream looked him in the optics, holding Flareup close to him. "Prime, I need to talk to you, now."

[Star, what's going on?]

He couldn't bring himself to look at her, he felt so guilty. He had almost traded away her safety the the one mech he hates most... "I'll explain when we go somewhere more private." he promised.

Optimus raised an optic ridge questioningly, then motioned for them to continue into a small storage room. They walked in and the he closed the door behind them. "What's this about Starscream? What happened?"

He took a deep breath, starting to retell his story. He told of how Megatron had forced him into his sales pitch, and had offered him his old job. Not meeting either of their gazes he said how he was tempted to join and his final answer. He had said he would think about it... He skipped over the extent of his torture and simply went quiet after he recounted Megatron leaving him for scrap.

He looked down at his shaking servos, waiting for anyone to say anything! He could feel the Prime's gaze burn into him, his trust breaking. But Flareup's touch was kind. She sat down next to him on the crate and stroked the sides of his wings. Normally he might have shied away from her- feeling undeserving of her kindness-but he leaned into her touch, needing her now more than ever.

[Starscream... I'm so proud of you.] she hugged him around his shoulders, kissing his cheek softly. [You didn't give in even when things were bad. You didn't betray us.] she smiled gratefully at him.

Optimus nodded slightly. "But you almost did. I am glad to say that we haven't given you any tools to use against us now."

He shook his head shamefully. "Optimus, I'm sorry. I just- I have a weakness for power... I know it will take time to earn your trust again but I wanted you to know that, I could never go back to the Decepticons..."

The larger mech merely nodded again and opened the door. "I am glad you told me this." he paused in the doorway, "Take care of yourself, and be more careful. You aren't one of my team but I think we all accept you as one of us now." he nodded to Flareup, in regards to something unknown to the Seeker, and she smiled back at him. "We will speak of this matter in more detail later, I believe Flareup wants to talk to you about something right now..."

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**Sorry this one took so long, I was having a little bit of writers' block but I think it's gone now. So to make it up to you all I wrote two chapters! I will post the second one as soon as I edit it. :)**

**Please Review!**


	36. Chapter 36

Flareup lead him down the hall, guiding him in his weakened state. His Energon had finally stopped flowing from his wounds but the pain had remained undoubtedly. He tried not to lean on her for too much support, steadying himself on the wall with a servo as they continued to their room. "So... What is it you wanted to tell me?" he asked.

[In a second, all will be explained.] she promised, a smile brightening her expression. [First, let's get you to our room and get you patched up.]

He glanced down at her quizzically. She didn't want Ratchet to do it? That was a first. Or perhaps it was because she wanted to avoid his brothers for some reason. What could she want to say that she didn't want to say to his brothers?

When they entered their berthroom he noted that it looked very different then when he had left. Instead of a bare room with only one berth the room had become much more decorated, with pictures taped to the wall (courtesy of Miko no doubt). Small congratulation cards littered the desk, along with a few Sparkling sized toys.

But what caught his optic was the three cribs against the wall. He smiled, realizing just how close he was to being a father. It was crazy...

She had him sit down on their berth, looking at him expectantly. [Well? What do you think?] she clasped her hands in front of her, looking thoroughly excited.

With a second glance around the room, he nodded approvingly. "It is a nice, positive place for the Sparklings to stay." he braced himself against the wall as she flung her arms around him in a death grip hug.

She kissed the sore spot on his neck softly, stroking her fingers over his wounds. Smiling at him helplessly she shook her head. [I am so happy! I can't help it. I should be horrified, with you all torn up like this but... I just can't help but be happy!]

He gave her a sad smile, understanding how she must have felt. "And that's why I love you." he mumbled, lying back on the berth. "No matter the situation you can still smile." he vented tiredly, "but I don't know if I can be so excited when I feel like your life is on the line." she stroked his face with the back of her servo, leaving his side for a moment to grab a small medical kit from the wall.

[Nothing is going to happen Starscream. I'm not going anywhere for a while, and neither are you. The Sparklings are starting to develop very quickly now. Ratchet says that they could be ready to come out in as little as two weeks.] she paused to open the kit and sort a few things. [And before you even think to say I'm hardly showing, the Sparklings will get very big very quickly.]

He off-lined his optics for a slow minute as she cleaned up his side and carefully put him back together. He didn't feel ready to be a father just yet, but she didn't seem to notice. She moved with relative quickness and precision over his wounds, pausing at the last one. She touched his audio receptor, inspecting the cruel markings.

[Did...] she looked at it in disbelief. [Did he... bite you?] he cringed, not wanting to tell her all of his methods of torture, but he nodded. She shook her head sadly. [That is just sick...]

He laughed a little, accidentally making his side ache. "Tell me about it." he brushed his servos over her arms and pulled her down next to him. "But we can ignore that one for now." he captured her lips in a passionate exchange, holding her close by the hips. His glossa brushed over hers, evoking a light squeak from her. When he finally separated from her he was smiling slightly. "Now, what is it you wanted to tell me?" he caressed her face, admiring her beautiful optics as she ran her fingers in a stray pattern over his chest.

She looked down at his insignia, circling it with her fingertip slowly. [Ratchet was able to determine the sexes of the Sparklings today...] she trailed off, possibly waiting for him to respond.

He tilted her gaze to meet his, his spark pounding in his chest. "Well, what are they?" Forget not being ready to be a father, he couldn't even wait to find out if they were mechs or femmes!

She smiled at his change. [They're two boys and a girl.] she could hardly contain herself, he could feel her joy spilling through their spark connection. [We're having a girl!]

He felt his vocal processor go dead. He was ecstatic, but he couldn't form any sensible thought. One femme. Two mechs. It was too good to be true.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her deeper into his chest. Now he could never leave her. It was as if everything had become even more real...

[And that's another reason you can't go track down Megatron to tell him to shove his offer where the sun don't shine.] she smiled against his neck. [You have to help me find names for them.]

He smiled. "Well I have already thought of a girl name, in case we were having a girl." he admitted.

[Oh? And what might it be?] she raised an optic ridge at him.

"StarFlare."

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**Well I know this one wasn't very long, it was kind of a filler (if you want to look at it that way). Next chapter will be out soon, please leave a Review. :)**


	37. Chapter 37

The Seekers were in a tangled mess. And in his attempt to separate his brothers Starscream found himself dragged into the wrestling match himself! Skywarp had one of his arms pinned underneath his wing and and a leg somehow wrapped around Thindercracker's neck, holding them both captive.

Starscream shoved at his fellow prisoner, trying to get him off of him while at the same time pulling his arm out from underneath Skywarp. His growled at both of them. "You know, this is why Flareup thinks you guys are immature!" he gasped, glaring at the both of them.

"Well you joined in, that makes you just as immature as us." Thundercracker pulled at Skywarp's leg, finally removing it and jumping on top of him to gain the upper hand.

Starscream rolled his optics exasperatedly. "I was trying to separate you! You guys are fighting over nothing! We're not naming the boys after either of you!" he tried to wiggle out from underneath them, only to get tangled even further as both his brothers grabbed him.

"What?" Thundercracker pulled the red Seeker's face up above Skywarp's thigh, looking at him incredulously. "You mean your going to name one of them after our previously sworn enemy, but you won't even think to name one after your own brother?"

"Brothers!" Skywarp piped up again. "You'd have to name him after both of us to make it fair!"

Starscream growled in annoyance, finally untangling himself from the two of them. "Listen!" he got to his feet, looking down at them sternly, feeling like he should have been the oldest. But when he thought about it he realized that they didn't have as much time to mature as he had. He had lived half of the life that they had missed in stasis lock. "First of all, it wasn't my idea to name our son after Prime, that was Flareup's idea. Second, I happen to like the name Orion. An thirdly, if you want a child named after you, get a Sparkmate yourself and have your own Sparklings!" he brushed himself off, trying to ignore the looks on both of their faces.

Thundercracker nodded, giving into his younger brother's logic. "I suppose you're right..." he stood up too, while pushing Skywarp back into the dirt. He smirked. "Is that Arcee chick available?"

Starscream laughed nervously, sincerely hoping none of their com channels were still open. "No, she is definitely off limits bro."

Skywarp looked up at both of them, scowling as he finally got up. "But seriously Scream, if you named one of your kids after us, what would you name him?"

He shook his head in annoyance. "I don't know, maybe-" he bit his lip, his processor racing for a name. "-By the Allspark, I don't know." he vented slowly, trying to take a moment to collect himself. The past week had been hectic, with all the time he spent in the Autobot base with Flareup and his brothers, he couldn't seem to find a moment to think! "Look, if we can't think of anything else I'll see if Flareup likes the idea-but no promises." he could here a quiet cheer of 'yes!' behind him, and he rolled his optics. "Come on, we should get back." he urged them to take flight.

* * *

Flareup sat on a medical berth talking with her father, her smile as bright and kind as ever. As Starscream watched the two of them he smiled too, leaning against the wall as his brothers stumbled over themselves in another argument. He watched the father and daughter without a word, simply taking in how happy both of them looked. Ratchet was even smiling.

Flareup hadn't been wrong when she had said the Sparklings would grow quickly over the next week. The nearly invisible bump in her midsection had grown considerably into a much more noticeable shape. She was still able to do just about anything like normal, when he let her, but she was slowly beginning to lose the quickness in her steps.

[Starscream-] he snapped out of his thoughts when she called over to him. [Star, you have to see this!] she waved to him, beckoning him to join her. She giggled happily, grasping his servo as he came to her. [Feel this... They're moving!]

He moved closer to her as the medic moved away to check on some things. Kneeling down in front of her he rested his servo over her carrying chamber. At first he didn't understand why she was so excited, then he felt a kick.

He gasped in surprise, jerking his hand away. "Doesn't that hurt you?"

She shook her head. [Not really.] she bent forward and pecked his lips. [You're cute when you're worried.] she braced herself on his shoulder as she hopped onto her feet. [And you are very funny when you try to tell your brothers 'no'.] she gave him a small wink and he groaned.

"You heard it?" one of their coms must have been turned on in their small tussle.

She nodded, laughing. [Every word. I don't think I've ever seen Arcee look so upset...] she looked off at the ceiling, remembering something about the encounter. [Optimus wasn't as angry as I thought he would be though, he just grabbed at a chance to go for a drive and that was it...] she trailed off.

Starscream lead her into the main room, where the Autobots were playing a game of 'Basketball', whatever that was. Smokescreen and Bumblebee were going up against the two Seekers, who were sorely losing. The human kids cheered the game on and Optimus was standing at the computer, talking with Arcee over her com.

[Star, you okay?]

He nodded, guiding her away from the noise to the quieter areas of the base. "Today marks the day Megatron wanted my answer..." she glanced up at him and he could feel her unease of the subject. "...And if I don't give him what he wants he will go through with his threats."

Flareup stopped walking, pulling him to a halt. [Starscream, nothing is going to happen! We just have to wait this out. After a while he'll just forget you again.] she insisted, more to herself then him though.

"Flare, I don't want you to worry..." he hugged her gently, swaying slightly from side to side. "I just can't help but be worried. I just can't lose you... You are my whole life!"

She shook her head. [That's not true. Your brothers are a part of your life too. And believe it or not, so are the Autobots. You've changed a lot Starscream.]

He vented, "Only because of you."

She smiled, [Okay, now that might be true.] she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, making herself a little more comfortable. [So. What are we going to do about our name predicament? We only need one more for the last boy.]

He shrugged. "I don't know..."

He felt her touch his Decepticon insignia. [I think we should name him after your brothers. They're a big part of our lives now, and it seems kind of... right somehow.]

He looked down at her doubtfully. "Are you sure you're not saying that just because you heard our conversation about how we weren't going to do just that?"

She shook her head. [No, I've been seriously considering it for a while now. And if you like the idea too I'd love to come up with something involving them.]

He sighed, thinking of how much trouble his brothers were going to cause because of this. "Let's not tell them right away, I don't want it to go to their heads too much."

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**I am very sad to say that there are only 5 chapters left in this book... I feel like I've been writing it forever... And now that it's ending, I just feel sad. :(**

**Anyways, please leave a Review. I love those. :)**

**Warning:: within the next few chapters people will die, and it will definitely meet the T rating. **


	38. Chapter 38

**Hey! I'm back! :)**

**Sorry this took so long, I was a little stumped on how to do this chapter. But here it is! Hope you enjoy! :)**

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The night air pressed hard against Starscream's aircraft form as he went into a nose dive. He let the wind whistle by until he was about to hit the rock earth before pulling up into a spiral. He heard Flareup laugh, clapping her servos in amusement as he flew past her. He could tell she was a little worried about his reckless behavior, but being the equally reckless femme she was she wasn't going to scold him. He felt like he could do anything right then, he only wished she could join him.

He turned back towards her, transforming with a backflip to land beside her. She jumped in surprise, but wasted no time in pulling him into her sweet embrace. He smiled as they kissed, his spark racing. He felt so alive! He was able to fly again, had a Sparkmate and three Sparklings on the way. His life had never been better.

He pulled away from her, watching her from an arm's distance. She was glowing, easily the most amazing thing to him in the universe.

[I loved it.] she brushed her servos over the base of his wings with a grin.

He looked at her in confusion. "What?-oh!- yeah, that." in his admiration of her he had temporarily forgotten that he had been putting on an air show for her, at her own request. "I'm glad you liked it."

Despite his worries about Megatron's death threats, he had let Flareup talk him into taking her out somewhere nice to be alone. He had decided on a spot hidden from human view, to appease Optimus' need for them to remain unnoticed. It was tucked away in a cove on the western seaboard, where the moon made the water sparkle. It was also a place he suspected the Decepticons had never even heard of... just to be safe.

She laughed at him, slapping his chest lightly. [You're a very strange mech.] she vented quietly, comming closer to him and leaning her helm against his chest.

He nodded, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Yes, but I'm your mech. You picked me, knowing full well how strange I was." she shook her head in silent objection. "What? You looked into my spark, how could you not know?" he knew she was joking, but was curious of what she had to say.

[I didn't look at everything...] she trailed off slightly. [I just looked at the stuff you tried the most to hide...] she hugged him tighter. [What fun is a relationship if you know everything about each other?]

He vented deeply, stroking her shoulders lovingly. "I suppose you're right. You almost always are."

[You bet I am. No _almosts_ about it.]

He nodded in submission. "Yes, of course. So far you have never been majorly wrong."

Starscream froze, his Energon going cold at the sound of someone laughing. The evil, familiar snarl of amusement could only come from one mech. "Well, well, well... Starscream, I never thought I'd see the day when you would willingly concede to someone, let alone a femme." Megatron chuckled from his pertch above them. "How pathetic."

Starscream unsheathed his missiles, pointing them upwards toward his old master. But he couldn't shoot, the explosion would bring all the rocks down on top of them. Megatron seemed to notice his predicament, and he mocked him even further.

"Still can't seem to bring yourself to possibly hurt her to disable me I see. I could have ripped both your sparks out when we last met together in that cave, but here we are, all still standing. Only because you were too afraid to hurt a femme. Such a coward, Starscream. You always have been." Megatron stepped forward on the rocks above them, causing some to fall. Starscream instinctively pulled Flareup out of the way, snarling at the larger mech. The motion seemed to only amuse him further. "And what is this I see? Oh Starscream, you didn't tell me you sparked her." he tisked in disapproval. "That makes this a whole lot harder."

"What do you want?!" The frightened Seeker walked backwards, keeping his mate behind him at all times. He tried to open a communication line with the Autobots, but just as their last encounter the line was full of static.

"Your answer Starscream." Megatron glared down at him, jumping down to join them in the sand. "Tell me where the Autobot base is now, or I will snuff her spark." Flareup tensed behind Starscream, her grip on his shoulder tightening.

"You will not harm either of us." Starscream was willing to try a bluff. "I won't let you. I would sooner hold you off while she drives away before I let you know where the Autobots reside."

Megatron looked mockingly thoughtful. "Except she was born without a T-cog. You forget she was once one of us too Starscream. I have all her records still." now the Seeker was even more scared. He couldn't get them both away from him, and he knew he could not best the Gladiator. They were out of options. "Tell me what I want to know Starscream... now."

Flareup pulled him backwards, making him face her. [Don't.] she begged him not to give in. He didn't know where the Autobots were, but he could take a few guesses where they were generally located. [Please.]

He felt torn. He couldn't protect her and their unborn sparklings, but he didn't know where the Autobot base was. And even if he did, she had told him not to give in. And even if she hadn't, Megatron would probably scrap them both anyways.

He looked up at the Decepticon leader, a fixed glare in his optics. "No." he said it firmly and with conviction.

Megatron sighed in annoyance. "I was afraid it would come to this. You leave me no choice-"

Starscream saw the blast before he could even register the ion blaster being raised. Bright purple-red light flared up around them and rocks fell. He quickly pushed Flareup out of the way, but was not quick enough to get out himself. His vision went black, and he was buried.

* * *

He didn't know how long it was before he on-lined, but the first thing he noticed was that he couldn't feel his Sparkmate's bond. Flareup was nowhere to be seen. Which could only mean that she had been taken away to the Nemesis by Megatron.

Panicked racked his spark as he stumbled away from the burning scrap pile he had been buried in. The sky was starting to become bright but the glow he noticed was much closer by. On the ground a message was written in purple flames in the sand: give me what I want, and I will release her to you.

Starscream looked at the message, a burning hate he had never felt before taking over his spark. It was a sensation that made his frame prickle in anticipation and his fingers itch in longing for blood. When he found that Aft-Head he was going to rip his damned spark out! And it would be in the most painful way he could think of.

He craned his head up to the sky an bellowed. "MEGATRON!"

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**Please Review! :)**


	39. Chapter 39

**Sorry it took me so long to get this up. I kind of lost creative juices for this and started obsessing about "Lonely"s sister story "Bad Boy". But this story is almost done, so I'm trying to focus on it instead. _Then_ I will obsess over Megatron's story!...**

**Warning: This chapter pushes the T rating. Lots of blood. Suggested stuff that makes me sad. And an Ending that made me almost cry writing it... read at your own risk! **

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"Starscream! What's happened?" His trine brothers tried to reach him through his com, but he ignored them as he flew in the darkened sky. He had located the Nemesis via the Harbinger and was currently speeding to catch up with it. He had no plan and he was scared for his Sparkmate's safety. Literally anything could have happened to her since he was knocked unconscious!

"Starscream, as your oldest brother I command you to tell me what's going on!" Thundercracker tried to expand their spark connection but the frightened Seeker blocked him out.

He killed the com and disconnected his com system. He had already lost Flareup to the Decepticons, he wasn't about to chance the same with his spark brothers...

The roaring of his engines could be heard from quite a distance away, and he was sure there were vehicons were on patrol on the top deck. Circling over the Nemesis from a distance above he scanned the hull for life. Transforming, he dropped down onto the hull with his weapons bared. Several vehicons stopped in their tracks at the sight of their old master. He glared at them all. "Take me to Megatron." they responded by cocking their own blasters. He grumbled impatiently. "So be it..." he fired off a few shots.

* * *

The familiar halls flew by as he scrambled to find the prison center, right next to the torture chamber. He met many Vehicons along the way but none stood a chance. He cut them all down and sped on without a care of their well being. He had to find Flareup.

Alarms blared around the ship, alerting others to his presence. He ducked and dodged large patrols but tool on the few that got in his way. He didn't have much trouble finding the brig, and when he stood outside the door he realized they were probably leading him into a trap. But he couldn't turn back, he could sense his Sparkmate just on the other side of the door!

He tried for a moment to override the door lock, but Soundwave no doubt was impeding his progress. After a few minutes he was still battling with the console but the doors swooshed open, seemingly on its own accord. He wasted no time slipping into the room, his weapons at the ready.

"Flareup..." he ignored the prickling sensation in his spark warning him of danger and ran to her. She lay on one of the torture berths, but other than a few burn marks on her arms she looked relatively untouched. Her optics opened widely as he grasped her servo in his, starting to undo her restraints.

[Starscream-] she sounded overjoyed to see him but also horrified. [-Star you have to get out of here. You shouldn't have come.] one wrist cuff bent to his will, but the elbow restraint gave him more trouble. ]You have to leave, now! While you still can.]

"I'm not leaving without you." he growled, daring her to come up with a reason why he should.

[You have to!] she insisted, grabbing his arm with her free servo, looking at him pleadingly. [Star, I can't go with you. I can't fly.] he froze, feeling his spark clench in fear. [You have to go.]

He shook his helm, not believing what he was hearing. How could he have forgotten? She couldn't leave the ship while it was still in the air! He choked back a quiet whimper, she couldn't leave...

"Sparkbreaking, isn't it Starscream?" Megatron's cold, cruel voice sounded off behind him sending chills down his spine. "To have come so far only to see your loved one die... Of course I would never hurt the sparklings, they will be extracted and given a proper home, around their own kind and not a bunch of humans. That is, unless you can tell me the location of the Autobot base."

Starscream tried to ignore him, bending over his Sparkmate to rest his helm lightly on her, looking into her bright fiery optics. "I love you Flareup...and I'm not going anywhere." he pecked her lips lightly, sensing that Megatron was slowly making his way across the room to them.

[You have to leave me-]

"I would rather die then leave you!" he said firmly, his spark racing as he thought. Megatron was drawing close, if it came to a fight he wasn't sure if he would best the gladiator. Missiles were no good in a room filled with instruments that ran on Energon. He wouldn't be able to fight long distance.

"What a grand last gesture, but Flareup I'm afraid the only reason he says that is because there is no escape for him now. He's too much of a coward to stand by any one's side. Although," He pulled Starscream away roughly by the wing. "he has seemed rather fond of you, perhaps I'm wrong?"

Starscream spat in his former master's face, shoving him away forcefully. "Like Hell you're wrong, you son of a glitch-head!" he glared at him murderously, bearing his clawed servos. "I should have scrapped you ages ago..."

Megatron laughed, wiping the Energon away from his face with an amused smirk. "You don't have what it takes to off-line me Starscream, you never have."

The Seeker growled, slicing his claws up across the mech's chest, knocking him backwards. "You want to bet, Megatron?" he snarled, pouncing on him and ripping at his neck cables. Both mechs screamed in pain as they went tumbling to the ground in a tangled heap. Megatron slammed the smaller mech back against the ground, cracking the edge of his wing. Starscream wrapped his thin legs around the gladiator's waist from behind and held him back so he couldn't stand up, also wrapping an arm around his neck to cut off his cooling supply.

For a moment it seemed that he had the upper hand, but after a few twists Megatron had him pinned underneath him with both servos grasped tightly behind his back. Starscream squirmed with a pained gasp and yelp as the larger mech sunk his teeth into his neck. He felt the mech lick up the spilled Energon with a smirk as he whimpered helplessly.

"You've never been able to best me or deny me in anything Starscream." he chuckled, stroking the edge of the Seeker's wings before demolishing a section painfully. As he screamed the mech purred into his audios. "But I know that making an example of you would not be as painful as making an example of your precious femme..."

[Leave him alone you bastard!] Flareup Struggled against her bonds, her spark reaching out to her Sparkmate to comfort him, but it had little affect.

Megatron picked the Seeker up by the wings and threw him into the wall, stalking over to where flareup lay restrained on the berth. "Yes Starscream, I think I shall do just that. Nothing will hurt you more than if I was to take your lover away from you..." He smirked down at her and she looked terrified.

Starscream stood up dizzily, his legs feeling weak as he re-engaged his old master. Again he was tossed aside, but this time Megatron followed him continuing the abuse with a kick to his side. His sadistic smile became more pronounced when he picked the Seeker up again and pinned him to the wall.

Starscream heard the activation of cuffs and looked down in horror at the glowing straps binding his upper arms to the wall. He struggled against them futilely and Megatron smiled.

The blow came without warning and all he could do was gasp, his optics widening in pain. He looked down at the four large holes in his chest, all leaking streams of his Energon. He touched the wound tentatively with a free servo and brought it up to look at the bright blue dripping from his fingertips.

Suddenly his breathing felt strained and he coughed, Energon dripping from his lips as he slumped over slightly. Megatron pushed him back up against the wall, holding his face in his large servo. "Prepare to feel a pain only those foolish enough to bond sparks with someone will feel. You can watch if you really want too or you can hide your shame, I don't really care. It will be agonizing either way."

* * *

Starscream let himself fall forward as his and Flareup's screams for each other finally quieted. He could hear her whimper and cry but he couldn't help her. He too had felt the burning agony in his chest as his master forced her spark to merge with his, and in turn he was sure Flareup could feel his hatred for the mech taking control of him. Through the tears in his optics he saw Megatron lick Energon off his lips mockingly.

"Tasty."

Starscream closed his optics tightly, willing the image of his master kissing Flareup to leave him. "You're a sadistic bastard..." he breathed painfully, Energon flowing into his cooling tanks from the wound in his chest. He felt his soul being ripped in two, the consequence of a Sparkbond broken. "Just kill me, let her go..." he begged, wanting nothing more than to see her get as far away as possible. "Please..." his voice cracked pitifully when the gladiator laughed and ignored him, looking at a wall of torture instruments he could choose from...

Starscream braced his back against the wall and tried to break the bonds around his arms. It was probably useless, but he heard a crack and was encouraged. Megatron too heard the crack and turned his attention to the Seeker.

It was simultaneous. As he broke free the other started towards him. Starscream ran to his Sparkmate and Megatron rushed to beat him there. It happened so quickly he couldn't really recall what exactly ha happened. One second he was standing between his femme and his old master protectively. The next he was pushed over onto the berth where Flareup was with a blade stuck through his abdomen.

He cried out in agony as Megatron forced it deeper through him and pulled it up towards his spark. Energon poured uncontrolably onto the floor, trailing down his legs and arms. He felt his spark beating fast and his life force slowly diminishing.

"Any last words Starscream?" Megatron sneered.

The bloodied Seeker looked up at him, his optics flickering weakly. "I feel sorry for you-" he choked, sputtering Energon over Megatron's chest.

_"What?!"_

"You don't know what love is... No one loves you, and that is why you take pleasure in tearing us apart. _I Feel Sorry For You Megatron..._ If you knew what it was like to feel like this, you wouldn't do this to us-" he coughed again, his vision fading slightly.

Megatron snarled, his grip on the knife tightening. "You're right Starscream. I _have_ _never_ loved anyone, and I _will never_ love anyone. It is weak and for the incompetent!" he pushed the blade farther through him.

Starscream's vision went black, and his spark burned!

But the knife hadn't pierced _his_ spark...

It had pierced through him into Flareup's...

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**Please don't kill me with hate mail! This story isn't over! **


	40. Chapter 40

**This is the moment you've been waiting for, I think... **

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_"There they are!"_

_"Get away from them you aft!"_

_"Scream? Dude, wake up!"_

_..._

_"He's conscious... They both are..."_

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_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep..._

"I've done everything I can..." Ratchet's voice sounded in the Seeker's audios as a silent distant sound. "Primus, I've lost one patient already, please don't let it be more..."

Starscream moaned in pain, his optics adjusting to the light over his head. As he looked around the room he felt something aching in his spark. The first thing he saw was Ratchet looking over a data pad above him, his optics filled to the brim with tears. Thundercracker was with him, pointing some things out on the chart and making notes.

The medics looked at him as he shifted, every move filled with pain. Thundercracker knelt down beside him and gave his servo as gentle squeeze, but his optics were sad. Something was wrong... As much as he tried to remember he couldn't think of why he was there.

Then he saw the three Energon chambers on the wall behind Ratchet. In each container of the glowing blue liquid a small form floated unconsciously. The Sparklings... All three of them.

"Flareup!" he gasped, looking around frantically for his mate. He remembered everything. The torture, the pain, her pain...

Thundercracker vented slowly, for once it seemed he couldn't say anything. Ratchet stepped forward, his anguished expression almost to much to bear. "Starscream..." he sighed shakily. "Flareup-" he was choking on his words. "-s-she's not going to make it... The damage was just too much..."

Starscream's spark stopped, his body and soul going numb. He looked up at the two of them in disbelief. They had to be lying! Flareup couldn't die...

He turned over onto his side, looking around the room desperately for her. His brother sensed his urgency to find her and carefully picked him up from the berth, carrying him to another one where Flareup lay. She was completely still, her optics had lost their fire, and her spark lay open to the air, torn, scraped, shattered. Starscream reached out to her and Thundercracker lay him down next to her.

He felt his optics tearing up as he looked at her, broken and beat. She looked weak, and when he wrapped his arms around her she was cold as ice. "Flare?" he held her close to his spark, protectively sheltering hers from the open air. For a moment she didn't respond, then he felt her servo move over his Decepticon insignia, tracing it like she had done so often before.

She rested her helm weakly against his chest, softly nuzzling him. [Are the sparklings okay?]

He caressed her helm and glanced back at the sparklings in their protective cases. He tried to smile reassuringly at her and kissed her helm softly. "They're fine. How are you feeling?"

She shook her head sadly and cuddled closer to him. [Cold...] she whimpered uncomfortably. [My spark hurts...]

Starscream looked down at the fading glowing orb in her chest. With a silent tear, he stroked it gently. "You're going to be fine." he smile faded, and he tried not to cry, forcing himself to be strong. He had to stay strong for her.

Flareup seemed to sense his distress and removed his servo from her spark chamber. She held his servo in both of hers and pressed it too her cheek. [You know... We never did name the last sparkling...]

"You're right, we never did..." he tried not to think of what they had been talking about before Megatron had taken her away. She had never been wrong before that moment... "What do you think we should call him?" if he was honest with himself, he would let her name him whatever she wanted to. He didn't care what it was, as long as it made her happy.

[Well, I think we should name him after your brothers. It just fits somehow...] she trailed off unfocused, then looked back at him smiling slightly.

Starscream tried not to let his distress show for her sake. She was already starting to fade, her thoughts becoming severed without her even knowing it. "I-I agree, but what do you want to call him?"

She looked thoughtful for a moment then nodded to herself as he presumed she had decided on a suitable name. [ThunderingSky... It's the only combination that doesn't sound ridiculous or like a human food.] she blinked a few times, as if she had forgotten something, but them pressed her face against his chest with a sigh. [What do you think?]

He nodded, lacing his fingers between her winglets, holding onto her securely. "It's perfect..." It was perfect. He only wished that she could live to call the sparklings by name, for them to know their wonderful mother and for them to be a real family. Why was fate so cruel?

[Starscream don't cry... Please don't. Not now.] she tucked her helm under his chin and breathed softly against his neck cables. He felt her fingers circle his insignia again and he felt icy daggers digging at his soul. He swore, the moment he could he was going to tear that Decepticon brand right off his chest!

[Star... Can we-] she stopped for a moment, coughing harshly. The sound made his spark ache, but he tried not to show it. [I-I would like to-to bond with you one last time... Before I go...] tears started to trail down her face and she sobbed. [I don't want that-that monster to be the last person I merged with...]

He vented shakily, pulling her closer softly and opening his spark to her. "Of course, you're my mate. You can merge with my spark whenever you want to." he shuddered as her fingers prodded it, and he grimaced as she found the crack that had formed during the intrusion of her spark. It had hurt him almost as much as it had her. "I love you Flareup." he lifted her chin to meet his gaze, pulling her optics away from the crack. "I always will."

Her optics spilled her bright blue tears without restraint and she cried. [Starscream-] he pulled her to him and their lips melded together passionately, their sparks reaching out for each other, each wanting the familiar presence of the other. They wrapped themselves around each other, refusing to ever let go.

Finally at the peak of their merge, Flareup broke the kiss and moved to whisper in his audios. [I know you're a smart mech. Promise me you will be a good father too. If they ever need me, hold them close to you and I will be there.]

"Flare, what are you-"

She cut him off with a kiss, bracing her servos against his chest. [I love you.]

Starscream cried out sharply when she separated from him quickly. The pain was excruciating, and it left him with a burning sensation in his spark. When the brunt of the pain ended, he looked at her and finally cried freely. Her optics had dimmed, and her spark was extinguished. Not a trace of it had been left behind...

He looked down at his own spark as it throbbed painfully, and his cries increased at what he saw. His spark, a bright red, was streaked with orange, the color of her spark. She had joined sparks with him permanently. And she would live on in him as long as he lived. "Flareup..." he held her still form tightly against his open chest, and cried.

Thundercracker and Skywarp both sat down beside him, despite him screaming for them to leave. His spark was breaking and they weren't going to just leave him. He was dying inside, and so were they. So, as a trine, they mourned the loss of Flareup.

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**_I swear this story has a happy ending! Don't give up on it now just because she died! Please! _**

**Leave a Review. :)**


	41. Chapter 41

**Sorry it is so short, the next chapter is going to be short too. I'm actually thinking that I'll probably come back and edit this chapter some time in the future...**

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Starscream sat on a the medical berth silently. He stared blankly at the floor in front of him, ignoring everything. After they buried Flareup and one of the humans, who had been caught in crossfire apparently, he, Ratchet and Bumblebee sat down in the med bay. They were waiting for Optimus Prime to come back, but He didn't care what they were doing. All he could think about was the empty, yet heavy feeling in his spark.

After a check up, Ratchet had confirmed his suspicions that she had had joined their sparks permanently before she could offline. Therefore, her spark was perfectly functioning inside of him.

Starscream held a servo over his chest, feeling his spark pulsing slowly. He had long ago cried out any tears he had, so now, he simply felt cold sorrow creeping through him. He felt numb, yet he could still feel the wounds that had been inflicted upon him. In all, he felt confused. Unsure. What was he going to do with his life now that his only reason for living was gone?

Optimus Prime came back into the room with Skywarp and Thundercracker. The two Seekers sat on either side of their brother, helms bowed sadly, with Energon cubes between their servos. The Prime gripped Starscream's shoulder firmly, looking sympathetically at him and handing him some Energon. He took it without a word, looking back at the ground.

Optimus handed Ratchet a cube and sat down next to Bumblebee. "We..." the Prime cleared his throat, a sadness the Seekers had never heard in him coming to surface. "We have lost some very good friends today... A tragedy that could not have been foreseen. In war there are casualties, but that doesn't mean we are not saddened by them. A Sparkmate, a daughter, sister, and a-" he paused, looking at Bumblebee as he beeped sadly, "-A close friend, are not things that can just be replaced. The ones we love will always hold a special place in our sparks. They will live on in our memories forever." he raised his Energon cube in a toast. "To the ones we have lost. We will never forget them." he handed the cube to Bumblebee who took it carefully, heeding the Prime's instructions. "Only a sip Bee."

Starscream looked down at his Energon, now noticing it was laced with pink, a sure sign that it was high grade. He took a deep breath and downed a swallow, ignoring the upset feeling in his tanks.

"What about the Sparklings?" Skywarp spoke up from beside him, looking to the Autobot medic for an answer.

Ratchet vented slowly, taking a sip of his own Energon, glancing up at the containers that held each of the sparklings. "They will be fine... Life or death wise anyways. Growing up without a mother will be hard for them..." he paused, wiping years away from his optics. "We'll all help of course, but nothing could ever replace the care they would have received from their carrier..."

Thundercracker spoke up next, asking another question that was on Starscream's mind. "What about feeding? Can you develop a formula for them?"

The medic nodded. "I have taken some of-of Flareup's Energon and will condense it for a formula that will be almost identical to what they would have gotten from her. It may take a little while, but by the looks of them they won't be ready for consciousness for still about a week. We have time to prepare..." he finished, also downing the last of his high grade. "I think, I shall retire now Optimus..."

Bumblebee nodded in agreement and left too, tears in his bright round optics. That left Optimus and the Seekers together. Starscream vented, the only sound he had made in hours. "Optimus..." he gained the Autobot's attention. "I will give you anything you need from me to help take down Megatron. He will pay for what he has done... One way or another. I think it is time I joined the Autobots, completely..." he scratched at his Decepticon insignia irritably. "As soon as I can, I wish to receive a different insignia. One that will show Megatron I am no longer his pawn."

Optimus nodded solemnly. "You should know that as one of my men, I will not allow a quest for revenge." he warned.

"It is not revenge I seek Optimus." Starscream stood up slowly, walking to the edge of the medical bay, spotting a cylinder of Flareup's life blood. An idea started to form in his mind. "I am, and always have been a Seeker. And now, all I seek is justice." he picked up the cylinder in his servo and ran a claw over it thoughtfully. Perhaps there was a way to make things right again...

"I'm leaving." he said, tucking the Energon away in his subspace. "But I'll be back soon." before his brothers could object, he powered up the ground-bridge and flew out into the night sky.

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**Leave a Review please!**

**So originally, when I thought up this story a few months back, it was going to end with Starscream swearing to help bring justice to Megatron's crimes. Then my cousin, my best friend in the world, told me I shouldn't end it like that. So she convinced me to make it a happier ending. I spent about a week trying to figure out how to change it, and I found a way that worked.**

**Next chapter will be the last, unless I put up the epilogue I have been tinkering with. Until then, I wish you a good day**. :)


	42. Chapter 42

**So, here's the last chapter (Besides the epilogue), I can't believe how fast this went. I loved writing it so much, and you all are so awesome. Thank you for the Reviews, PM, and all the encouragement. :)**

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He was desperate, admittedly. His spark burned painfully with his desolate feelings. He was again alone. He had been alone before but this was worse, much worse. Before he met Flareup he had been alone, but he had had nothing. When he bonded with her, he had had so much. And he had lost it all.

"Primus, when is it enough?!" Starscream slammed his fists down on the computer console in front of him, gritting his denta harshly as tears spilled down his face. He was broken. Only half of what he knew he had been. His other half was gone. And there was only one way he could think of to make everything right once again.

The tip of his finger brushed over the nearby syringe of Energon that he had taken from Ratchet's medical bay, leaving a tiny scratch on the surface. It had taken him a lot longer to set up the machine than he had originally thought. After his incident with his clone trying to terminate him he had torn it apart and scattered its remains. He had excellent memory however and had gone straight to work repairing it. Nearly a week had gone by and he hadn't heard a word from anyone. For that long he had been alone, working steadily to put the cloning device back together. It was his last chance, his last hope. If there was any way to bring Flareup back this was it.

He looked up at the chamber in front of him, his spark pounding in his chest. It hurt. But he would live through it. If his plan worked, he knew the pain would be replaced with joy. And if it didn't work... He would end his suffering for good. It was selfish, considering that he had sparklings to take care of and his brothers were alive, but he just couldn't take it. He couldn't live on without her.

With a vent to cool his overworked systems, Starscream started the procedure. Typing in the commands he heard the machine whirl to life, lights and sounds filled the large room and he took the syringe. His last hope.

"Primus please..." he closed his optics briefly, whispering the words pleadingly. "Please, let her come back to me... I'm begging you... Please..."

With his last hopeful prayer, he inserted the syringe into the slot and watched it drain. The loud noises increased, and the lights flickered as electricity surrounded the reanimation chamber. He could see the clone mold flickering, reshaping and a new color coming to it, but he couldn't see it clearly through the smoke.

After the machines died down he slowly approached the chamber, his spark beating quickly in anticipation. The smoke cleared and he saw the new form of Flareup. She looked different, with slightly sharper looking armor painted more yellow than red and orange. Her overall look was the same, but her optics were not. They were dark, dead. And she didn't move.

Starscream's vents became shaky with anguish. With a quiet cry he reached out and stroked her still face. His last hope had failed. Somehow, someway, it hadn't worked. "Primus why?! Why must my torment never end?" Energon leaked from his optics freely. "Will there be no end to my suffering?"

He took the reincarnated Flareup in his arms and brought her away from the machine, holding her still form tightly against his chest. "Flareup... Come back to me..." he pecked her helm softly and his tears trailed down onto her. "I need you." But she didn't answer him. She remained unmoving, her once fiery optics empty and her spark chamber void of life.

"This is all my fault. It was because of me that you were killed and now I can't do anything to make things right!" he closed his optics tightly, feeling every ounce of his willpower diminishing. He had been going to help Optimus bring the war to an end, put a stop to Megatron's tyranny. But now all he could think of was death. He yearned for it, if only to be reunited with her...because he couldn't live without her.

"I'm sorry..." he was apologizing to everyone. Flareup, his brothers, Optimus and the rest of the Autobots. He just couldn't live with himself. And so he decided to end it. Once and for all. "Forgive me..."

He opened his spark chamber, reaching up with clawed fingers to tear his life out. But, just as he started to feel his fingers biting into his soul he felt something else. It was like a flutter. Somehow he was sure it hadn't come from his own spark, but something else within his chest. It was sad, almost pleading him not to do what he was going to.

"It's as if she didn't die." Ratchet's words rang in his processor like an angry scraplet. "Her spark didn't extinguish. She is still alive inside of you..."

Starscream winced at the memory of his words. How could he have forgotten? Her soul was inside of him, and therefore couldn't be brought back because it hadn't been gone in the first place. And if he killed himself, he'd be killing her too.

He looked down at the orange streams in his glowing red spark, an idea coming to mind. Pulling the reincarnated Flareup closer to him he opened up her spark chamber. As he had expected it was empty. But he wasn't discouraged. Perhaps he had one more last hope to try.

He spoke out loud to her, caressing her face. "Please let this work..." He pressed his open spark into her empty chamber and kissed her lips tenderly. He could feel his spark changing, moving and lightening. But, even when it stopped he didn't dare open his optics. He stayed still, praying harder than he ever had before. When nothing happened he whispered softly into the air. "I love you Flareup..."

There was a deep painful silence...

"S-Starscream?"

He smiled, tears of joy streaming down his face...

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**The End! (except for the epilogue)**

**Sniff... Sniffle... I'm sorry, I actually teared up writing those last two sentences. I hope you all have enjoyed reading this story as much as I have enjoyed writing. You all are amazing! I couldn't have done this without you guys. :) and it wouldn't have been a happy ending without Natty-Wacker, my best friend in the entire world! Thank you!**

**Please Review and watch for the epilogue. It will be out as soon as possible. :)**


	43. Chapter 43

**Well, here it is... The end of the book.**

**Warning!:: Spoilers for the end of my story "Bad Boy". If you don't want the ending spoiled for you do not read this!**

**Enjoy! :)**

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Starscream lay on his berth in the Harbinger, smiling and crying at the same time. His Sparkmate cuddled with him, hugging him tightly as she slept sprawled over him. They were as close as they could get, and comfortable in each other's sleepy embrace. He stroked her winglets, her side, her helm, her lips, anywhere he could without disrupting her sleep. He just had to keep making sure that it was really her and not some sort of apparition.

He ran a servo down her thigh to her knee and she pulled away from it instinctively, a smile spreading across her lips. "Didn't you have enough of that last night?" she opened her optics, their depths filled with a teasing challenge.

He smiled right back, matching her challenge. "Of course not. I can never get enough of you." his spark skipped beats when she laughed.

"Good answer." she sat up, straddling his lap comfortably. He moved up to become level with her, taking her face between his servos and pulling her into a kiss. She squeaked, but then returned the gesture. After a moment she broke it, pushing him away and standing up. "Now now, Starscream I love you, but we are not having any more Sparklings any time soon." she teased.

Starscream felt like he had been plowed over by a bolder. "By the Allspark!" he stood up quickly and grasped her by the shoulders before she could move. "Flare, the others don't know you're alive yet!" Realization spread across her face and they both laughed. "We have to go tell them!" Wasting no time, he immediately opened a channel to the Autobot base.

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Upon coming through the ground-bridge, Starscream was met by a body crushing tackle. His brothers were asking him if he was alright, if he could count holding up, and if he could spell their names backwards. But he simply smiled and answered every question, assuring them that he was fine. Then Flareup came through and the room was shocked into dead silence.

Flareup stood still slightly behind Starscream, waiting for the others' reactions. Optimus Prime was the first to move, but he merely tapped Ratchet's shoulder who had had his back to them the whole time. The medic turned around a little annoyed but then froze in shock, dropping his wrench. The tool fell to the floor with a loud clang, and the mech stared at his daughter, like he was seeing a ghost.

"How...how is this _possible_?" Ratchet sounded just about ready to cry.

"Does it matter? I'm here." Flareup waited uncertainly and Starscream squeezed her servo to help calm her. There was a long silence, then Ratchet ran to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her. They both cried, and Starscream stepped away to give them some space.

His brothers looked at him baffled and he merely smiled, wrapping his arms around their shoulders and hugging them both. He had never felt so relieved in his life. His family was whole again. And nothing was going to tear them apart.

"Starscream?" a timid voice spoke up from behind Optimus Prime. The femme that stepped out into the vision of the others was shyly keeping her distance. But her optics were trained on Starscream and Flareup who had returned to his side, looping her arm through his. "You are Starscream, aren't you?"

He nodded curtly, eying the Decepticon insignia on her shoulder while moving discreetly more in front of his Sparkmate. "Yes, I am. What do you want?"

She flinched at his harshness but stepped towards the two of them slowly. "I-I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I saw what Megatron-" she stopped abruptly and he could see tears in her optics. "I-I saw what he did to you both-and, I'm just so sorry. After everything he did, and everything he said. I just couldn't-...I couldn't-" she vented shakily, apparently very upset.

Optimus stepped forward and put his servo on her shoulder. "What she has told me is that she left the Decepticons after what happened to the two of you. She wants to join our efforts to end this war. Isn't that right Flamewar?" The femme nodded sadly, wiping Energon away from her face.

Starscream's optics widened in surprise, his jaw dropping slightly. "Wait a minute. Flamewar? _The_ Flamewar? Soundwave's _sister_?" She nodded again and he shook his head disbelievingly. "Why are youhere?"

"It's a long story. But I came just to find out if you two were alive..." she looked at them sadly. "I could tell that you two loved each other so much-I never would have been able to live with myself if you weren't... If he had-..."

Flareup pushed past him to hug the femme, and they both cried. Starscream, and every other mech for that matter, looked confused. But he rolled his optics and smiled slightly at his Sparkmate as she comforted the distressed Flamewar. Femmes were so strange.

Starscream, after instructing his brothers to keep an eye on the new recruit, pulled Ratchet aside to ask how the sparklings were doing. The doctor, a smile etching onto his face despite his normal mask of indifference, lead the Seeker into the med bay. And Starscream's spark skipped a beat in joy.

The sparkling Seekers were all out of their Energon chambers, cuddled together in a berth crib. All three of them fast asleep together the way he used to recharge with his trine.

Starflare lay in top of the other two, sucking her thumb while her brothers snored underneath her. One of the boys opened his bright blue optics and looked up at him curiously, but then went back to sleep. In his mind Starscream deemed him Orion. And the other Thunderingsky.

"When did they come to?" he whispered, backing away from the crib slowly so not to disturb them.

"Just this morning."

Starscream bit back a happy sound, smiling at his children helplessly. They were so wonderful. And now they had the mother they deserved back. They could be a happy family together. Him, Flareup, his brothers and them. It was perfect. But yet, something about that picture didn't seem right. Like something was missing...

"Starscream..." Ratchet's servo grasped his shoulder, and he turned to him. "I know we have had our differences and our arguments in the past..." he took a deep breath, a sad look in his optics. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you said you didn't want to harm Flareup. Scream, I don't want us to be at odds with each other, not now. I didn't realize that until I saw those wonderful little Seekers open their optics for the first time." he looked past Starscream at the little ones. "I want to be a part of this, a part of your family. I know I have said things to you that were wrong, and I hope that you can forgive me and let me be a part of these younglings' lives..."

Starscream stared at him, taking in everything that he said. Then, he held out a servo to him in friendship. He could forgive, he could forget, and he was happy to finally have Ratchet's approval. Ratchet reached out slowly to clasp his servo, but at the last moment Starscream pulled away and instead threw his arms around the older mech in a tight hug. "No servoshakes in this family Ratchet, if you want to be a part of it you'd better get used to hugs."

Ratchet scoffed but returned the gesture, humoring him. "So we're good?"

Starscream broke away from him, clasping his shoulder tightly. "We're good..." with that he left to go tell Flareup about the Sparklings.

He was no longer alone. He had a family. His brothers, Flareup, the Sparklings, and Ratchet. And he was happy. He'd never be lonely again...

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**The end! :)**

**So, for Readers of "Bad Boy" big spoiler! For the readers who haven't read my other story yet please go check it out! :)**

**Please Review! I love you all, you are such great encouragement. :)**

**Btw, thinking of doing a one-short or short little story involving Starflare, Orion, and Thunderingsky. If you have any ideas leave them in a Review or PM me. :)**


	44. Chapter 44

**Hey guys! Remember when I said in the last chapter that I was thinking about doing a one-shot with the Seekerlings? I know that was forever ago but... Well, guess what? I actually finished it! Go check it out, it's called "Lonely Little Mech." :)**


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